Unraveling The Mystery: Am I Aromatic?

Aromantic individuals experience little to no romantic attraction and are not interested in romantic relationships. Aromanticism is sometimes abbreviated to aro and is represented by the A in the LGBTQIA+ acronym. Aromanticism is not the same as asexuality, though some aromantic people are also asexual. Aromanticism falls under the asexual spectrum (or a-spec) identity, which also includes agender. There are many different identities on the aromantic spectrum, including greyromantic, demiromantic, and aroflux. If you are questioning whether you are aromantic, it is important to remember that you are the only person who gets to decide how you feel and how to share those feelings with others.

Aromanticism vs. Asexuality

Aromanticism and asexuality are distinct concepts, but they are often associated with each other. Aromanticism is a romantic orientation, while asexuality is a sexual orientation.

Aromanticism

People who identify as aromantic experience little to no romantic attraction towards others. They may not desire romantic relationships and may not be interested in romance. However, aromantic people can still have romantic relationships or desire them without feeling romantic attraction towards a specific person. Aromanticism, as an umbrella term, refers to anyone who experiences little to no romantic attraction and falls closer to the experiences of other aromantic people than those who experience romantic attraction.

Asexuality

Asexuality, as a specific term, refers to people who do not experience sexual attraction and/or intrinsic desire for partnered sex. It is also an umbrella term that includes anyone on the asexual spectrum, meaning those whose experiences are closer to those of asexual people than to those who experience sexual attraction. Asexual people may still choose to have sex for various personal reasons, and some may experience sexual attraction at times. It's important to distinguish between sexual attraction, sexual desire (libido), sexual arousal, and sexual behaviour.

While aromanticism and asexuality are different, they can overlap. Someone may identify as both aromantic and asexual, experiencing little to no sexual or romantic attraction. However, this does not mean they will not engage in romantic relationships or sexual activity. Aromanticism and asexuality are spectrums, and individuals can fall anywhere on these spectrums. They are not mutually exclusive, and a person can be aromantic and asexual, aromantic and sexually active, asexual and romantically active, or any other combination.

Romantic attraction

Romantic relationships often involve a merging of two or more lives, where individuals become two halves of the same whole. This can involve long-term commitments and planning, as well as some form of exclusivity. However, it is important to note that romantic relationships can take different forms, and not everyone desires or requires the same level of entanglement or exclusivity.

For individuals who experience little to no romantic attraction, the term "aromantic" or "aro" may apply. Aromantic individuals may still desire relationships and experience various types of attraction, such as sensual attraction, emotional attraction, and intellectual attraction. They may also seek queer-platonic relationships (QPRs), which are non-romantic relationships that involve close emotional connections.

Aromantic spectrum

The aromantic spectrum, often abbreviated as "arospec", is a group of romantic orientations that fall under the umbrella term of aromantic. Individuals on the aromantic spectrum experience little to no romantic attraction or feel it so little that they relate more to the aromantic experience. In other words, they do not feel the "standard" amount of romantic attraction or they don't feel it in the "standard" way that alloromantic individuals do. Aromantic individuals may or may not experience sexual attraction and are not exclusively asexual.

The aromantic spectrum includes a wide range of identities, such as:

• Aromantic - Someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction.
• Grayromantic/Greyromantic - Someone who rarely experiences romantic attraction, only experiences it under certain circumstances, or experiences it weakly.
• Demiromantic - Someone who experiences romantic attraction but only after forming a close non-romantic bond with the person.
• Aegoromantic - Someone who does not feel romantic attraction but enjoys the concept of romance and romantic depictions.
• Lithromantic/Akoiromantic - Someone who experiences romantic attraction but does not want it to be reciprocated and may lose that attraction if it is.
• Cupioromantic - Someone who does not experience romantic attraction but desires a romantic relationship.
• Aroflux - Someone who experiences shifting romantic attraction on the aromantic spectrum.
• Frayromantic - Someone who only experiences romantic attraction towards people they do not know and may lose that attraction if they form a deeper connection.
• Quoiromantic - Someone who is uncertain if they experience romantic attraction or cannot distinguish between different types of attraction.
• Placioromantic - Someone who feels little to no desire to receive romantic gestures but is interested in performing them for someone else.
• Apothiromantic/Antiromantic - Someone who does not experience any romantic attraction and feels repulsed by or averse to romance and romantic activities.

The aromantic spectrum also includes other emerging identities that are not yet commonly used by the community. It is important to note that the aromantic spectrum is diverse, and individuals may identify with different labels depending on their specific experiences and preferences.

Aromantic relationships

Aromanticism is a romantic orientation where someone experiences little to no romantic attraction. They may still feel sexual attraction, and aromantic people can still experience love and form emotional connections. Aromanticism exists on a spectrum, and there are several terms people may use to further specify how they identify. For example, demiromantic people only experience romantic attraction after forming an emotional bond with another person, and gray-aromantic people rarely experience romantic attraction or only under very specific circumstances.

Aromantic people can have all kinds of loving relationships, including friendships, platonic relationships, and relationships with family members. Aromantic individuals can also have long-term partners and get married. They may seek out long-term relationships for reasons such as a desire for a family, companionship, or emotional support. Aromantic people can also experience sexual intimacy and may have casual relationships or multiple relationships for the purpose of sexual exploration.

Aromanticism is often confused with asexuality, but the two are separate constructs. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, whereas aromanticism is a romantic orientation. An asexual individual typically has no sexual desire, but this can also show up in a range of ways, such as only feeling sexual desire when a strong emotional connection is present. Aromanticism and asexuality can occur together, but they don't have to.

Aromantic people often face stigma and misconceptions, such as the idea that they are "cold" or "prudish", or that they are incapable of love or forming relationships. Aromantic individuals can make social connections and feel platonic love, and they can still desire and enjoy physical touch, such as holding hands, hugging, or cuddling.

Aromanticism and popular media

Aromanticism is a romantic orientation characterised by experiencing little to no romantic attraction. Aromantic people may or may not also be asexual, which refers to a lack of sexual attraction. Aromanticism is often confused with asexuality, but the two are not the same. Aromanticism is sometimes known by the abbreviated form "aro".

Aromanticism is rarely depicted in the media, but it is slowly gaining more widespread acceptance and representation.

Aromanticism in Books and Literature

As aromanticism is slowly becoming more widely recognised and accepted, additional literature about it is being published. There are some fiction books with aromantic characters, such as *Loveless* by Alice Oseman, and *The Trouble* by Daria Dafore. There are also non-fiction books about aromanticism, such as *Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex* by Angela Chen, and *Aro Eros Arrows* by Michón Neal.

Aromanticism in TV and Film

Aromanticism is rarely depicted in TV and film, and when it is, it is often misrepresented. For example, in the 2017 television show *Riverdale*, the character Jughead Jones is asexual and aromantic in the original comics, but the writers chose to depict him as heterosexual.

Aromanticism in Podcasts

The podcast *Sounds Fake but Okay* by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca focuses on aromanticism and asexuality and has been credited with helping to increase public representation of the aspec (aromantic and asexual) community.

Aromanticism in Animation

Popular YouTube animator Jaiden Dittfach published a video in March 2022, coming out as aromantic asexual.

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