Lance Carson
Who Will Light Incense When Mother's Gone? is a story by Andrew Lam about a mother and son who immigrated to America from Vietnam. The story explores the tension between the mother's traditional Vietnamese rituals and the son's more Americanized lifestyle. The mother, who continues to light incense and speak to her ancestors every morning, expresses concern that her children and grandchildren will not carry on these traditions when she is gone. The story highlights the challenges faced by immigrants in preserving their cultural identity in a new country, as well as the generational gap between those who immigrate and their children, who are more easily assimilated into the new culture.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Author | Andrew Lam |
| Theme | Quest for identity/coming of age, conformity/rebellion, love, and the American dream/nightmare |
| Setting | America |
| Main Characters | Mother, Son, Aunt |
| Mother's Characteristics | Traditional, pious, growing old, worried about mortality |
| Son's Characteristics | Modern, non-traditional, guilty, regretful |
| Aunt's Characteristics | Unsure if her children will continue the tradition |
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What You'll Learn
Identity and cultural conflict
"Who Will Light Incense When Mother's Gone?" is a story that revolves around the themes of identity and cultural conflict. The narrative highlights the experiences of a mother and son who immigrated to America from Vietnam, navigating the challenges of preserving their cultural traditions in a new country.
The mother, deeply rooted in her Vietnamese heritage, faithfully adheres to her cultural and religious rituals. Every morning, she climbs a chair to light incense on the ancestral altar, praying to the spirits of her ancestors and the Buddha. She seeks protection and prosperity for her children and grandchildren in their new homeland. However, her son, having grown up in America, finds himself in a different world. He pursues a life of travel, writing, and public speaking, drifting away from the traditional practices of his mother.
The story captures the mother's growing concern about the preservation of her cultural identity within her family. As she whispers to her sister-in-law, "Who will light incense to the dead when I'm gone?", she expresses her worry that her children and grandchildren have drifted away from their Vietnamese heritage. The mother fears that the rituals and traditions she holds dear may not survive the generational gap, as her children seem to have embraced a more Americanized lifestyle.
This conflict between the mother's traditional values and the son's modern, Westernized outlook reflects the broader struggle faced by many immigrant families. They grapple with the challenge of assimilating into a new culture while also retaining their unique cultural identity. The son, despite his love and respect for his mother, finds himself disconnected from the rituals that were once an integral part of his heritage. He no longer feels a sense of belonging to those traditions, and his participation in them feels more like an act of pleasing his mother rather than a genuine connection to his cultural roots.
The story delves into the complexities of identity formation for second-generation immigrants. The son, caught between two worlds, must navigate his relationship with his mother's culture and traditions. He experiences a sense of guilt and regret as he observes his mother's devotion to her rituals. While he may not fully embrace the traditions himself, there is a yearning to reconcile his world with his mother's, to find a way to honour both their identities and bridge the gap between their differing worlds.
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Filial piety
In Confucian ethics, filial piety is not seen as a choice but as an unconditional obligation of the child. It is the fundamental principle of Confucian morality, encompassing physical care, love, service, respect, and obedience towards parents. This concept is also present in Indian culture, where parents invest heavily in their children with the expectation of being cared for in their old age, including receiving physical, emotional, and financial support.
The practice of filial piety has evolved over time and across cultures. In the story "Who Will Light Incense When Mother's Gone?" by Andrew Lam, the theme of filial piety is explored within the context of Vietnamese immigrants in America. The mother continues to uphold traditional rituals, such as lighting incense and speaking to her ancestors, while her son decides not to participate in these traditions. This highlights the tension between upholding cultural traditions and adapting to new environments, as well as the potential loss of certain rituals across generations.
While filial piety has been a common thread across various religious beliefs in China, it is not without its challenges. There is a waning of filial piety in some parts of China, where contracts of support between elderly parents and their adult children are being implemented. This shift may be due to changing societal norms, geographic distances, or other factors. Nonetheless, filial piety remains a central virtue that defines and shapes family relationships and societal norms in many East Asian cultures.
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Mortality
"Who Will Light Incense When Mother's Gone?" is a story about mortality, tradition, and the immigrant experience. The title itself serves as a metaphor for the anxiety felt by many immigrants who fear that their cultural traditions will not survive in their new homeland.
In the story, a mother, who is growing older and facing her own mortality, whispers to her younger sister-in-law, "Who will light incense to the dead when I'm gone?" The sister-in-law, Aunty, expresses her doubt that the next generation will continue the ritual, saying, "None of my children will do it, and we can forget the grandchildren. They don't even understand what we are doing when we pray to the dead."
This exchange highlights the mother's fear that her cultural traditions, specifically the Vietnamese ritual of lighting incense for the ancestors, will not be carried on by her children or grandchildren after she is gone. The mother's worry stems from the fact that her family has moved to America, and she recognizes that her children have grown up in a different world from her own, a world where they may not fully understand or appreciate the significance of these rituals.
The story explores the tension between two worlds and the struggle to maintain cultural identity in a new and different land. The mother's world is one of traditional rituals, piety, and devotion to her ancestors, while her children's world is one of education, career, and assimilation into American culture. Despite the mother's devotion to her traditions, her children, including the narrator, feel a sense of distance from these rituals and view them as something to please their mother rather than as a living part of their own cultural identity.
The theme of mortality looms large in the story, as the mother's advancing age and declining health serve as a reminder of the passing of time and the inevitability of death. The story prompts a reflection on what survives beyond an individual life and the role that rituals and traditions play in preserving cultural identity across generations.
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Religious devotion
The short story, "Who Will Light Incense When Mother's Gone?" by Andrew Lam, explores the themes of religious devotion, cultural identity, and generational differences through the lens of a Vietnamese immigrant family in America.
The mother in the story embodies strong religious devotion, maintaining traditional rituals even in her new American life. Every morning, she climbs a chair to light joss sticks (incense) on the ancestral altar, a practice common in Vietnamese culture and Buddhism. She offers prayers to the spirits of her ancestors and the Buddha, seeking protection and prosperity for her children and grandchildren in their adopted country. This pious devotion shapes her daily life, from consulting Vietnamese horoscopes to attending Buddhist temples on her parents' death anniversaries.
The mother's religious devotion is a stark contrast to the narrator's (her son's) more secular and Westernised lifestyle. The narrator, with their degrees, awards, and modern pursuits, represents a generation that has largely moved away from these traditional rituals. The mother's whispered question, "Who will light incense to the dead when I'm gone?" highlights her concern that the rituals and traditions she holds dear may not survive beyond her lifetime.
The story delves into the internal conflict of the narrator, who, despite feeling a sense of disconnect from these rituals, recognises their significance to their mother. They grapple with the guilt of not fully embracing their cultural heritage and the desire to reconcile their mother's world with their own. This struggle reflects the broader challenge faced by many immigrants and their descendants, navigating between their traditional cultural roots and the dominant culture of their new homeland.
The mother's devotion extends beyond religious rituals to a deep connection with her ancestors. She converses with the spirits, seeking their guidance and blessings. This ancestral worship is a fundamental aspect of her spiritual practice, providing a sense of continuity and reverence for her family's history.
In conclusion, "Who Will Light Incense When Mother's Gone?" powerfully illustrates the enduring religious devotion of the mother, highlighting the tension between traditional rituals and the modern, Westernised world of the younger generation. It invites readers to reflect on the importance of cultural preservation and the complex dynamics within immigrant families navigating these dual identities.
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Generational differences
"Who Will Light Incense When Mother's Gone?" is a story by Andrew Lam that explores the generational differences between a Vietnamese mother and her American-born or raised children. The story highlights the mother's devotion to traditional rituals, such as lighting incense and praying to the dead, which her children do not continue.
The mother in the story, who has immigrated to America from Vietnam, remains strongly attached to her cultural and religious traditions. Every morning, she piously lights incense for her ancestral altar, mumbles prayers to the spirits of her ancestors, and seeks protection and prosperity for her children and grandchildren in America. Despite her old age and frailty, she continues to participate in these rituals, highlighting her strong devotion to her cultural and religious beliefs.
On the other hand, the children and grandchildren in the story have grown up in a different cultural context. They live in a world of travel, writing, and public speaking, far removed from the traditional rituals of their mother's culture. They do not understand the significance of lighting incense and praying to the dead, and they do not continue these traditions themselves. This disconnect between generations underscores the challenges of preserving cultural traditions and identity in immigrant families.
The story explores the theme of generational differences and the quest for identity, as the children navigate between their mother's traditional world and their own modern, Americanized lives. They struggle with reconciling their mother's cultural expectations with their own sense of self and their desire to fit into their new country. This struggle is common for many immigrant families, as they balance the values and traditions of their heritage with the norms and influences of their adopted homeland.
The mother's question, "Who will light incense when I'm gone?" highlights her concern for the preservation of cultural traditions and the fear that these rituals may be lost with the next generation. It underscores the generational gap between her unwavering devotion to tradition and her children's assimilation into American culture. The story suggests that while the mother may worry about the continuation of these rituals, her children view them as relics of the past, symbolizing the differing priorities and perspectives between generations.
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Frequently asked questions
The story is about a mother and son who immigrated to America from Vietnam. It explores the themes of identity, conformity, rebellion, love, and the American dream through the lens of intergenerational differences in cultural values and traditions.
The story highlights the traditional Vietnamese rituals of lighting incense and speaking with dead ancestors. The mother in the story performs these rituals daily, praying for the protection and prosperity of her children and grandchildren in America.
The son feels conflicted. He loves his mother and respects her traditions, but he also feels removed from them, viewing them as relics of a distant past. He struggles with his identity as a Vietnamese American, caught between two different worlds.
As the mother turns 70 and grapples with dementia and forgetfulness, she worries about the preservation of her cultural traditions. She fears that when she is gone, the rituals will end as her children and grandchildren do not understand or continue these practices.
