The Overpowering Scent: Navigating Cologne Usage

Discussing a date's excessive cologne use can be an uncomfortable conversation, but it doesn't have to be. While it may be awkward to bring up the topic, honesty is the best policy. Being direct and straightforward can help to ensure your message is conveyed effectively and prevents any potential misunderstanding. It is important to remember that wearing too much cologne can be a deal-breaker for some people, and it is always better to address the issue early on rather than let it become a bigger problem over time.

There are several ways to approach this sensitive topic without causing embarrassment or offence. One suggestion is to frame the conversation around your sensitivity to strong smells, expressing that while you like the cologne, it can be overwhelming for you. You could also ask about their natural scent, expressing interest in getting to know their authentic smell. Another approach is to be playful and lighthearted, perhaps asking if they can dial down the cologne with a smile or a wink.

Remember, it is always better to be honest and direct, rather than hinting or beating around the bush.

Be straightforward and gentle

Being straightforward and gentle is a great approach when telling a guy he wears too much cologne. Here are some tips to navigate the conversation with sensitivity and effectiveness:

Firstly, initiate the conversation privately and in person. Avoid discussing this in front of others or through text/email, as these methods may come across as insensitive or indirect. Find a quiet moment when you can speak to him alone, ensuring the environment is comfortable and distraction-free. This will help maintain his privacy and encourage an open dialogue.

When you begin the conversation, ensure your tone is friendly and non-judgmental. You could start by saying something like, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something I've noticed, and I want to be honest with you because it's important to me that you know." This sets the stage for a sincere and gentle conversation.

Be direct and specific about the issue. Instead of hinting or beating around the bush, clearly state your observation. For example, "I've noticed that you tend to wear quite a bit of cologne, and while it's a great scent, I think a little goes a long way." By being specific, you leave no room for confusion and ensure your message is clear.

Offer a solution or suggestion to the problem. For instance, "Maybe you could try using half the amount you usually do, or opt for a lighter version of the same cologne if it's available. That way, the scent is more subtle and pleasant without being overwhelming." By providing a solution, you show that you're not just pointing out a problem but also offering a helpful way forward.

Finally, emphasize that you're bringing this up because you care about his overall well-being and want to ensure he's presenting himself in the best light. You could say, "I thought you should know because first impressions are important, and I want others to recognize your great qualities without being distracted by the strong scent." This will help him understand that your intentions are good, and it may encourage him to be more mindful of his cologne usage.

Remember, the key is to be gentle, direct, and solution-oriented. By having this private conversation, using a friendly tone, being specific about the issue, and offering helpful suggestions, you can effectively communicate your concern without causing embarrassment or hurt feelings.

Explain that you're sensitive to strong smells

Explaining that you're sensitive to strong smells is a good way to tell a guy he wears too much cologne without causing offence. Here are some ways to broach the topic:

• "I'm sensitive to perfumes and cologne, could you please not wear it when you're with me?"
• "I'm really sensitive to different fragrances, and I've been getting migraines from your cologne. I'm going to have to ask you not to wear it."
• "I'm sensitive to scents. I've asked before. All scents are not created equal. Really good cologne for men might not be noticed, or might be enjoyed. Good cologne is very subtle."
• "I'm not sure how to ask you this... but could you wear less cologne? Yours is nice, but a little overwhelming to me."
• "I have a sensitive nose... maybe you can tone it down from here on?"
• "I'm allergic to a lot of scents, so would you mind not wearing cologne when we're together? It sucks because a lot of times I actually like the smell, but it makes me all headachy."
• "I'm not sure how to ask this...but could you wear less cologne? Yours is nice, but a little overwhelming to me. I'm allergic to most strong scents, and I'd rather be able to sleep in sheets that smell of you without loading up on antihistamines first."
• "I have a sensitive nose.. maybe you can tone it down?"
• "I'm allergic to most strong scents, and I'd rather be able to sleep in sheets that smell of you without needing to load up on antihistamines until they've been through three or four washes."
• "I'm going to have to ask you to tone it down on the cologne usage."
• "I'm really super-sensitive to cologne; it gives me a terrible headache. I'd love to get closer...would you mind if I asked you to go cologne-free when we see each other?"
• "I'm sensitive to perfumes and cologne. There are even rules in some places that don't allow you to wear perfume because people are allergic."
• "I'm going to have to ask you to not wear it. I'm sensitive to strong smells."

Ask to smell his natural scent

Asking to smell his natural scent is a great way to approach the topic of his excessive cologne usage. Here are some ways to bring up the topic:

Be Direct

It is best to be straightforward and direct when addressing the issue. You could say something like, "I really like you, but I'm sensitive to strong smells, and your cologne is a bit overwhelming for me. I want to smell your natural scent. Can you go cologne-free when we're together?" Being honest and direct will likely be appreciated, and he may even feel relieved, as some men wear cologne only because they think it is expected or preferred.

Flirtatiously Approach the Topic

You could also choose to make it a flirtatious moment by saying something like, "You know, I kinda enjoy the cologne you're wearing, but I'd really like to know your natural scent. I bet you smell amazing." This approach lightens the mood and still gets your point across.

Emphasize the Positives

Another strategy is to emphasize the positives and what you want rather than focusing on the cologne as a problem. For example, you could say, "I'm into natural scents, and I'm into you. Your cologne is nice, but I'd love to smell your natural scent. Can you give the cologne a pass so I can smell you better?" This way, you are expressing your interest while also conveying your preference for his natural scent.

Take a Shower Together

If you are comfortable and the relationship allows for it, you could suggest taking a shower together. After the shower, compliment his natural scent and express your preference for it over cologne. For example, you could say, "I love the way you smell right now, your natural scent is amazing."

Be Light-hearted

You can also approach the topic in a light-hearted and humorous way. For instance, you could jokingly say, "Hey, I'd rather not smell your cologne on my sheets for weeks. Can you help me out and go easy on the cologne?" This way, you are addressing the issue while also adding a touch of humour to the conversation.

Remember, it is essential to be respectful and considerate when conveying your message. Choose an approach that aligns with your personality and the nature of your relationship. Good luck!

Suggest he applies cologne differently

Suggesting that your date applies their cologne differently is a sensitive topic to approach, but it can be done in a straightforward and tactful manner. Here are some ways to suggest a change in how they apply their cologne:

Be Direct and Honest:

Tell them that while you appreciate their effort to smell nice, you are sensitive to strong scents and would prefer if they could reduce the amount of cologne they apply. You can say something like, "I like you a lot, and I want to be honest about something. I'm sensitive to strong smells, and your cologne is a bit overwhelming for me. Could you please wear less of it or apply it differently so it's not as strong?"

Frame it as a Preference for Their Natural Scent:

Let them know that you enjoy their natural scent and would love to experience it more. You can say, "I really enjoy your natural scent and would love to smell it more. Maybe you could try applying less cologne or choosing a scent that's not as strong so that I can appreciate your natural smell."

Emphasize the Impact on Your Health:

If the strong cologne is causing physical reactions, such as sneezing, watery eyes, or headaches, bring this up as a reason to reduce the amount they apply. You can say, "I've noticed that strong colognes tend to trigger sneezing and watery eyes for me. It would be great if you could go easy on the cologne or choose a milder scent so that I can avoid these reactions."

Use Humour to Lighten the Conversation:

Approaching the topic with a bit of humour can make it less awkward. You could say something like, "Hey, I like you, but your cologne is a bit much. I'd love to get to know your natural scent better. Maybe we can work on finding the right amount together?"

Suggest Alternative Ways to Smell Nice:

Instead of directly asking them to reduce their cologne usage, suggest alternative ways to smell nice, such as scented body washes or deodorants. You can say, "I know you like to smell nice, and I appreciate that. Have you considered trying scented body washes or deodorants? That way, you'll have a milder scent that's more pleasant for those with scent sensitivities."

Remember, it's important to approach this topic with kindness and respect. Be mindful of their feelings, as they may be embarrassed or defensive about the situation. Choose your words carefully, and try to have an open and honest conversation about it.

Be honest and direct

Being honest and direct is a great way to address the issue of a guy wearing too much cologne. It can be tricky to bring up, but it's important to be straightforward and kind in your approach. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

Be gentle and direct:

It's important to be gentle and direct when addressing this issue. You could say something like, "I really like you, but I have to be honest. I'm sensitive to strong smells, and your cologne is a bit overwhelming for me. Would you mind wearing less of it or choosing a milder fragrance?" This approach lets him know that you enjoy his company while also being clear about your preference for a more subtle scent.

Frame it as a request:

Instead of making it seem like a criticism, frame your conversation as a request. For example, you could say, "I'm asking because I want to get closer to you, but would you mind wearing less cologne? It's a bit strong for me." This approach respects his choices while also clearly communicating your preference.

Focus on your sensitivity:

If you want to soften the blow, you can frame the conversation around your own sensitivity to strong scents. For example, "I'm a bit sensitive to strong colognes, and I was wondering if you could wear a little less. I want to enjoy your natural scent more." This approach expresses your preference without placing blame or criticism.

Offer a compromise:

Another way to be direct is to offer a compromise. For example, "I love spending time with you, but I was wondering if you could wear a little less cologne or choose a milder fragrance. I want to enjoy your natural scent as well." This approach shows that you're willing to meet him halfway and find a solution that works for both of you.

Be playful and flirtatious:

If it feels appropriate, you can even make it a playful and flirtatious conversation. Try saying something like, "You know, I kinda enjoy the cologne you're wearing, but I'd really like to know your natural scent. I bet it's amazing." This approach keeps the conversation lighthearted while still communicating your preference.

Remember, it's important to be honest and direct, but also kind and respectful in your delivery. Choose an approach that feels comfortable for you and the dynamic of your relationship. Good luck!

Frequently asked questions