Boyfriend's Cologne: How To Request He Stops Wearing It

It can be tricky to ask your boyfriend not to wear cologne, especially if he's sensitive and easily offended. However, it's important to be honest and direct without hurting his feelings. One approach is to frame it as a preference for his natural scent: I really like you, but I'm sensitive to strong smells, and I'm overwhelmed by your cologne. I want to smell you, not something you bought. You could also appeal to his desire to be attractive to you: You know I think you're hot, but your cologne is a bit strong and gives me a headache. I'd love to get closer...would you mind going cologne-free when we're together? If you want to soften the blow, you could suggest a compromise: Your cologne is nice, but it's a little overwhelming for me. Maybe you could wear less, so I can enjoy your natural scent?

Be honest about your preferences

Being honest about your preferences is a great way to approach this conversation with your boyfriend. It's important to be direct and let him know how you feel without hurting his feelings. Here are some ways to do that:

Start by expressing your attraction to him and your enjoyment of his company. This will help to frame the conversation positively and make him feel appreciated. You could say something like, "I really like you, and I enjoy spending time with you."

Then, gently bring up the topic of his cologne use. Be honest about your preferences and explain that you find strong smells overwhelming or that you prefer his natural scent. For example, you could say, "I'm sensitive to strong smells, and I find your cologne a bit overwhelming. I'd love to smell your natural scent more."

Alternatively, you could frame it as a request due to your sensitivity to certain scents. You could say something like, "I'm super sensitive to strong scents, and your cologne gives me a headache. Would you mind going cologne-free when we're together?"

If you want to take a more light-hearted or flirty approach, you could say something like, "You know, I kinda enjoy the cologne you're wearing, but I'd really like to know your natural scent."

You could also suggest that his cologne interferes with your desire to be physically close. For example, "I'd love to get closer to you, but your cologne gives me a bit of a headache. Could we try going cologne-free when we're together?"

Remember, it's important to be considerate of his feelings while also being honest about your preferences. You can always start with a gentle hint and see how he responds before being more direct.

Explain the effect on you

Asking your boyfriend to stop wearing cologne can be a tricky conversation to have. It's important to approach the topic respectfully and calmly, without making him feel defensive or embarrassed. Here are some ways to explain the effects of his cologne on you:

"I really like you, and I'm just sensitive to strong smells. Your cologne is a bit overwhelming for me. I want to smell YOU, the natural scent of your skin, not something you bought at a store. Can you help me out with this?"

"I love your cologne, but I can smell you even before I see you. Don't be afraid to use less. You'll still be attractive, if not more so, and it will be easier for me to get closer to you."

"I hate to say this, but I'm really super-sensitive to cologne; it gives me a terrible headache. I'd love to spend more time with you and get closer...would you mind going cologne-free when we're together?"

"I'm sensitive to perfumes and cologne—they trigger my allergies and give me sneezing fits. Could you please not wear cologne when we're together? It would mean a lot to me."

"Your cologne is nice, but it's very strong and a little overwhelming to me. I'm allergic to most strong scents, and I'd rather not have to take antihistamines every time I want to sleep in sheets that smell of you."

"I like the scent of men. Please don't hide it behind cologne. Your natural scent is so much more appealing to me."

Remember, it's important to focus on how his cologne affects you, rather than criticising his choice of fragrance or how much he applies. Keep the conversation light and friendly, and try to make it clear that you're not asking him to change, but simply explaining your own reaction and requesting consideration for your sensitivity to strong scents.

Suggest an alternative

If you want to ask your boyfriend to stop wearing cologne, it's important to be direct but also sensitive in your approach. Here are some alternative suggestions to help you navigate the conversation:

• Be honest and direct: Explain that while you appreciate his efforts to smell nice, you're sensitive to strong scents and would prefer if he wore less cologne or chose a milder fragrance. You can say something like, "I like you a lot, and I want to be honest about something. I'm sensitive to strong smells, and your cologne is a bit overwhelming for me. Could you please consider wearing less or opting for a softer scent?"
• Frame it as a preference for his natural scent: Let him know that you find his natural scent attractive and would love to experience it more. Try saying, "I really enjoy your natural scent. I'd love to experience it more when we're together. Can you skip the cologne or choose a milder fragrance?"
• Suggest alternatives: If you want him to continue wearing a fragrance, suggest alternatives that are milder or more subtle. You could say, "I love that you want to smell nice for me, but I'm sensitive to strong colognes. Maybe we can find a fragrance that's a bit softer or has a lighter scent. We can go fragrance shopping together and find something that works for both of us."
• Offer specific recommendations: If you have specific fragrances in mind that you think he would like and that have milder scents, suggest them as alternatives. For example, "I know you like woody fragrances, how about trying Tom Ford Neroli Portofino? It's a fresh and mild option."
• Appeal to his sense of humour: If your boyfriend has a good sense of humour, you could try making a playful joke about it. For instance, "Hey, your cologne is great, but I think it's plotting world domination because it's so strong! Can you tone it down a bit or find something that's a bit less intense?"
• Discuss the application technique: Sometimes, the issue might not be the cologne itself but how it's applied. Suggest experimenting with different application techniques to find a more subtle approach. You could say, "Maybe we can try different ways of applying your cologne, like spraying it into the air and walking through it, or applying it to specific points like your pulse points, which will make the scent less overwhelming."

Compliment him

Complimenting your boyfriend is a great way to show your appreciation for him and make him feel valued. Here are some ways to do this effectively while asking him not to wear cologne:

Compliment His Looks

Complimenting your boyfriend's appearance can boost his confidence and make him feel attractive. Some examples include:

• "I love your hair today."
• "Your eyes are the most incredible shade of green."
• "Your shoulders look so strong today."
• "Your abs look amazing."
• "I love how soft your hands feel when you rub my shoulders."
• "That jacket looks amazing with those pants. Are you an off-duty model?"
• "Your new buzz cut is sexy. It makes you look like Brad Pitt."

Compliment His Personality

Complimenting your boyfriend's personality shows that you appreciate him for who he is. Some examples include:

• "I feel so safe with you. Thanks for loving me."
• "I love how we can communicate about difficult subjects. I love you and trust you completely."
• "You're so good with animals."
• "I can't believe how comfortable you seem with people."
• "You're such a fun person. I can't stop smiling when we're together."
• "I feel really safe when I'm with you, both emotionally and physically."
• "You make it really easy for me to be myself."

Compliment His Efforts

Even when your boyfriend doesn't achieve his goal, it's important to acknowledge his efforts. Some examples include:

• "I know you got passed over for the promotion, but your quarterly presentation was really brilliant."
• "I know you're disappointed you got a B on your project, but I thought your paper was amazing."
• "You work so hard. It's inspiring."

Remember to be specific and sincere in your compliments, and avoid comparing your boyfriend to others. Also, try to find the right moment to deliver your compliment when he has the time and attention to appreciate it fully.

Gift him cologne

Gifting cologne to your boyfriend can be a thoughtful and nice gesture, but it is not without its risks. Firstly, it is important to be mindful of the stage of your relationship. If you are only dating and not sure of his commitment to you, an expensive gift could come across as trying too hard or may make him feel uncomfortable if he cannot reciprocate. It is also important to consider his tastes. If he does not usually wear cologne, he may not be interested in receiving it as a gift. In addition, people's fragrance tastes vary widely, and there is a risk of giving him a scent he may not like.

If you decide to go ahead with gifting cologne, there are several options to consider. You could opt for a mild and "safe" scent such as Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue Pour Homme, or a fresh and safe option for work like Tom Ford Neroli Portofino. Chanel fragrances like Bleu De Chanel and Allure Homme Sport are also popular choices. When it comes to gifting, it is often better to spend less money and create more meaning. Instead of buying an expensive cologne, you could pair it with something else, like a mug with a special quote or a photo of him printed on it.

If you are unsure about gifting cologne, there are other options to consider. You could treat him to coffee or give him a nice card to wish him a happy birthday or Christmas. Alternatively, you could opt for a different type of gift that is useful or sentimental. For example, if he is going hiking in January and has no hiking gear, a pair of hiking pants could be a nice and thoughtful gift. Whatever you decide, remember that it is the thought that counts, and your boyfriend will likely appreciate the gesture.

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