Boyfriend's Cologne: How To Request He Stops Wearing It

It can be tricky to ask your boyfriend not to wear cologne without hurting his feelings. One approach is to be direct and honest, explaining that you prefer his natural scent or that strong smells give you a headache. You could also frame it as a positive, telling him that you find his natural scent attractive. Another tactic is to hint at it by expressing your dislike of strong cologne in general or asking him what he thinks of someone else's strong cologne. You could also try to make it fun and flirtatious, such as by asking him what he smells like under the cologne.

Be honest about your preferences

Being honest about your preferences is a great way to approach this potentially sensitive topic. It's important to communicate your feelings directly and respectfully. Here are some ways to do that:

Be Kind and Specific

You could say something like, "I really like you, etc. etc., but I'm just really sensitive to strong smells, and I'm a little overwhelmed by your cologne. I want to smell YOU, not something you bought at Yonkers. Is that alright?" This approach expresses your attraction to him while also being clear about your preference.

Offer an Alternative

Try saying, "You know, I kinda enjoy the cologne you're wearing, but I'd really like to know your natural scent." This way, you're offering a positive alternative and showing that you're interested in his natural scent.

Focus on Your Sensitivity

If you have any allergies or sensitivities, bring that up! You could say, "I'm being honest because I know it's important. I have some scent sensitivities, and strong cologne can trigger them. I'd really appreciate it if we could find a compromise that works for both of us."

Use a Light-hearted Approach

If humour is a part of your dynamic, you could try something like, "Hey, I have to be honest about something. I love that you wear cologne, but sometimes it's a bit much for my nose. I'd love it if we could find a scent that's a bit lighter so I can enjoy your amazing natural scent, too!"

Be Direct and Complimentary

Sometimes, the best approach is a direct and honest one. You could say, "I want to be honest with you about something. I love that you take pride in your appearance, and I find you incredibly attractive. I'm not the biggest fan of strong cologne, and I'd love it if we could find a compromise. Maybe a lighter scent or a different type of fragrance?"

Remember, it's important to approach this conversation with kindness and respect. Be mindful of his feelings, and try to find a solution that works for both of you. Good luck!

Explain the effect on you (e.g. headaches)

It's important to be honest and direct with your boyfriend about how his cologne is affecting you. Explain to him that you have a sensitivity to strong scents, and that his cologne is triggering unpleasant physical reactions for you. Be specific about the symptoms you experience—for example, you could say something like:

"I really need to talk to you about something important. I've noticed that whenever you wear cologne, I start to feel unwell. I get a throbbing headache, and sometimes it even develops into a full-blown migraine. It's not just your cologne, either—I react the same way to any strong scent. I know how much you love wearing cologne, and I don't want to take that away from you, but I was hoping we could find a compromise that works for both of us. Maybe you could try wearing it less often, or using a smaller amount? I'd be happy to help you find a scent that's lighter and less likely to trigger my headaches. I care about you, and I don't want to see you stop doing something you love, but I also need to take care of my health."

It's crucial to approach this conversation with empathy and understanding. Collecting colognes and wearing fragrances can be a source of joy and self-care for your boyfriend, so it's important to acknowledge that. However, as his partner, your comfort and well-being should also be a priority for him. By having an open and honest discussion, you can work together to find a solution that takes both of your needs into account.

Suggest an alternative (e.g. his natural scent)

Suggesting an alternative to your boyfriend's cologne can be a great way to approach the topic. Here are some ideas on how to do this:

Emphasize His Natural Scent

Let your boyfriend know that you prefer his natural scent over cologne. You can say something like, "You know, I kinda enjoy the cologne you're wearing, but I'd really like to know your natural scent." Or, "I'm sure your natural scent is amazing. I'd love to experience it." This approach communicates your preference without putting him down.

Suggest a Different Scent

If you want to suggest a different cologne, try saying something like, "I think you'd smell amazing with a woodier or spicier cologne. Something that's a bit more subtle and not as strong." You can also offer to go cologne shopping with him to find a scent that you both like.

Highlight the Benefits of Going Cologne-Free

Another tactic is to focus on the benefits of not wearing cologne. For example, you could say, "I love how your skin smells after a shower. It's so fresh and clean. I think you don't need any cologne at all." Or, "Your natural scent is so attractive to me. I think you should embrace it and ditch the cologne."

Offer a Compromise

If you don't want him to stop wearing cologne completely, suggest a compromise. For instance, "I love it when I can smell your natural scent, especially after a shower. Maybe you could wear cologne only on special occasions or when we go out?" This way, he can still enjoy wearing cologne while also giving you what you want.

Make it a Flirtatious Request

You can also make your request playful and flirtatious. Try saying something like, "I love your cologne, but I'd love to get closer and discover your natural scent. It's a turn-on for me." Or, "I'm curious about what you smell like under that cologne. Care to find out together?" Adding a bit of fun and seduction to the conversation may make it easier for him to accept your suggestion.

Remember, when making your request, choose an approach that fits your personality and the dynamics of your relationship. Be respectful, honest, and direct, and try to find a solution that works for both of you.

Use humour to soften the blow

How to Ask Your Boyfriend Not to Wear Cologne Using Humour to Soften the Blow

It can be tricky to ask your boyfriend to stop wearing cologne, especially if it's something he's been doing for a long time. However, if it bothers you, it's important to have a conversation about it. Here are some ways to bring up the topic using humour to lighten the mood:

Flirtatious Request

"You know, I kinda enjoy the cologne you're wearing, but I'd really like to know your natural scent."

Overly Dramatic

"I hate to be dramatic, but your cologne is killing me! I'm super sensitive to strong smells, and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of fragrance. Can we find a happy medium where I can enjoy your natural scent without passing out?"

Playful Compliment

"Hey, I love spending time with you, but I have to admit, your cologne is a bit much for me. I want to be able to smell your natural scent and not be overwhelmed. Maybe we can find a cologne that's a bit more subtle and doesn't knock my socks off every time you walk into the room."

Honest and Lighthearted

"Listen, I have to be honest with you. I really like you, but your cologne is a bit too much for my senses. I want to be able to get close to you without feeling like I'm in a cloud of fragrance. Can we work together to find a solution that makes us both happy?"

Exaggerated Allergy

"I have to be upfront with you—your cologne is amazing, but it triggers my allergies something fierce! I start sneezing and coughing like crazy. I don't want to avoid you; I want to get closer. Could we try a cologne-free date and see how it goes?"

Remember, the key is to approach the topic with humour and lightness while still being honest about your feelings. It's important to find a balance between joking and sincerity so that your boyfriend understands your request without feeling attacked or embarrassed. Good luck!

Be spontaneous, not scripted

When asking your boyfriend not to wear cologne, it's important to be spontaneous and authentic rather than scripted and disingenuous. Here are some tips to guide you through this conversation:

• Avoid a scripted approach: While it's natural to want to plan what you'll say, a rigidly scripted conversation may come across as insincere or overly rehearsed. Be prepared, but allow for a natural flow in your discussion.
• Be direct but considerate: You can express your thoughts clearly without being harsh. For example, you could say, "I really like you, but I'm sensitive to strong smells. Your cologne can be a bit overwhelming for me at times. I'd love to smell your natural scent more."
• Share your preferences: Let him know that you prefer his natural scent or a more subtle fragrance. You could say something like, "I'm into natural scents, and I'm into you. I'd love it if you could go easy on the cologne so I can smell your natural scent better."
• Make it a positive request: Instead of focusing on what you don't like, frame your request in a positive light. For instance, "I love it when you wear a subtle fragrance or no cologne at all. It lets me enjoy your natural scent, which is so attractive to me."
• Be mindful of his feelings: Recognize that this conversation may make him feel self-conscious or embarrassed. Choose your words carefully to minimize any potential hurt and assure him that you still appreciate him.
• Avoid hinting or beating around the bush: Being direct shows respect for your boyfriend's time and feelings. Hints may be missed, and dancing around the topic may create unnecessary anxiety or confusion.
• Share specific examples: If certain situations or experiences have been particularly challenging due to the cologne, share those examples. For instance, "When we're in a small, crowded space, like an elevator, the cologne can feel quite strong. I'm sensitive to strong scents, and it becomes a bit overwhelming for me."
• Suggest alternatives: If you still want him to wear a fragrance, suggest alternatives that are more subtle or better suited to his body chemistry. You could even offer to go fragrance shopping together to find something that works for both of you.
• Be open to compromise: Relationships are about give and take. If your boyfriend loves wearing cologne, try to find a middle ground that works for both of you. For example, he could wear cologne on certain occasions or in settings where it's more appropriate.

Frequently asked questions