Aromance: Understanding The Lack Of Romantic Attraction And Love

what is aromance

Aromance, or being aromantic, is experiencing little to no romantic attraction. Aromantic people may still desire relationships, but they are not driven by romantic feelings. They may still feel platonic love, sexual attraction, or other forms of connection and intimacy. Defining romance is complex and subjective, and what constitutes romance varies from person to person. However, it often involves expressions of affection, intimacy, passion, and commitment. Romance is typically associated with relationships and can be enhanced through thoughtful gestures, quality time, and physical touch.

Characteristics Values
Definition A relationship between two people who are in love with each other but are not married
Experience Little to no romantic attraction
Desire Affection with your partner
Feelings Intimacy, passion, and affection
Expression Small, simple ways or more exciting, sweeping gestures
Intimacy Sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy
Attraction Physical and romantic
Commitment Shared goals and working towards them together
Connection Feeling close, connected, and accepted
Communication Being genuine and specific about appreciation
Actions Thoughtful gestures, small touches, and physical touch
Attention Tuning into your partner and showing appreciation
Affection Cuddling, kissing, and holding hands

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Aromantics experience little to no romantic attraction

Aromanticism is a romantic orientation characterised by experiencing little to no romantic attraction. Aromantics may experience romantic attraction rarely, only under certain circumstances, or not at all. Aromanticism is independent of sexuality or libido, and while many aromantic people are asexual, many are also allosexual. Aromantics can experience platonic love and may have committed friendships. They may also seek out intimate non-romantic partnerships called "queerplatonic relationships".

Aromantics can still experience love and form emotional and personal connections, as well as experience sexual attraction. Aromantics can have lifelong partners, get married, and have children. Aromantics can take part in aspects of a traditional marriage like sharing property and finances, cohabitation, and raising children. Aromantics may also be part of queerplatonic relationships, which are strong and emotionally intimate connections that are not romantic or ambiguously romantic in nature.

Aromanticism is sometimes referred to as "aro" for short. Aromanticism is part of the LGBTQIA+ community, with the A representing aromanticism, asexuality, and agender.

There are varying identities or labels that people on the aromantic spectrum identify with, including:

  • Grayromantic or gray-aromantic: romantic attraction is rarely experienced or only weakly experienced
  • Demiromantic: romantic attraction is experienced but only after forming a close non-romantic bond with the person
  • Lithromantic or akoiromantic: romantic attraction is experienced, but it goes away if the attraction is reciprocated
  • Cupioromantic: aromantics who want romantic relationships
  • Aegoromantic: does not feel romantic attraction but enjoys the depiction of romantic love
  • Frayromantic: only experiences romantic attraction towards people they do not know
  • Quoiromantic: uncertain if they experience romantic attraction or cannot tell if their feelings are romantic, sexual, or platonic in nature
  • Placioromantic: feels little to no desire to receive romantic acts but has an interest in performing them for someone else
  • Apothiromantic: does not experience romantic attraction and feels repulsed by romance or averse to romantic activities

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Romance is a relationship between two people in love but not married

Aromance is a term used to describe a relationship that is not romantic. People in aromantic relationships experience little to no romantic attraction. Aromantic relationships can be sexual, but they are not driven by physical desire or romantic love.

Romantic relationships require effort from both partners to sustain. Without romance, a long-term relationship can start to feel stale, boring, or distant. Enhancing romance can increase connection, intimacy, and a feeling of being loved and accepted in a relationship.

  • Listen and connect: Show genuine curiosity about your partner's day and put away distractions like phones or TV.
  • Remember small touches: Holding hands, cuddling, or sharing a kiss can build relationship romance.
  • Practice their Love Language: Learn your partner's love language and do things that make them feel loved.
  • Engage in small moments: Make their favorite cup of coffee or ask open-ended questions.
  • Plan regular dates: Regular date nights can enhance romance and intimacy.
  • Tell them how you feel and show appreciation: Be specific about what you appreciate about your partner to foster emotional intimacy.
  • Include a grand gesture: Plan a surprise trip or take them on an exciting date to celebrate relationship milestones.

Romantic relationships can take many forms, and what constitutes romance can vary from couple to couple. Ultimately, romance is about fostering togetherness and a deep sense of connection, love, and acceptance in a relationship.

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Romantic love combines intimacy, passion and commitment

Aromance, or being aromantic, is defined by a person's experience of little to no romantic attraction. Aromantic people may still desire relationships, but these are often based on logic rather than emotion. They may also experience other forms of attraction, such as physical or sexual attraction.

Romantic love, on the other hand, combines intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy in a relationship refers to the closeness and emotional connection between partners, allowing them to share feelings, personal thoughts, and psychological closeness. Passion represents the intense, physical attraction partners feel for each other, leading to romance and physical intimacy. Commitment is the conscious decision to stay together and work towards long-term goals and mutual happiness.

Romantic love, as defined by Sternberg's Triangular Theory, includes the presence of both intimacy and passion, but without the commitment. This type of love can be found in causal relationships or brief affairs, where partners enjoy emotional and physical closeness but are not yet ready to make a long-term commitment.

However, "true" or consummate love, according to Sternberg, is achieved when all three components—intimacy, passion, and commitment—are present and balanced. This type of love is often considered the ideal and most fulfilling form of romantic love, as it encompasses both the excitement of passion and the stability of commitment, bound together by the deep connection of intimacy.

In a romantic relationship, partners express and feel intimacy, passion, and affection towards each other. This can be demonstrated through small, thoughtful gestures, such as a good morning kiss or a random text message, as well as more grand romantic gestures like surprise trips or candlelit dinners. Enhancing romance through these expressions of love can increase connection, intimacy, and a sense of being loved and accepted by one's partner.

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Romance is about the desire for affection, usually through thoughtful gestures

Aromance, or aromanticism, is defined by a person's experience of little to no romantic attraction. This definition, however, can vary from person to person. Some people who identify as aromantic still experience romantic love and desire affection. They may also desire physical intimacy and experience sexual attraction.

Romance is often the fire that keeps a relationship burning, both physically and emotionally. It is about the desire for affection with your partner, usually through thoughtful gestures that aim to foster togetherness and elicit a positive and loving response. These gestures can be small and simple, like a good morning kiss, a random text message, or bringing your partner their favourite snack. They can also be more exciting and sweeping, like planning a surprise trip or taking your partner on an adventurous date.

According to Dr. Jacqui Gabb, a Professor of Sociology and Intimacy at The Open University, it is often the everyday interactions and small, daily romantic gestures that are far more appreciated by couples than grandiose gestures. These small, daily romantic gestures help sustain healthy, loving relationships long after the honeymoon phase.

Romantic relationships need to be worked at and require daily intention and effort to maintain emotional connection, ensure that your partner feels seen, heard, and understood, and heighten feelings of love. Without romance, a long-term relationship can start to feel stale, boring, or distant.

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Romance is a feeling of mystery, excitement and remoteness from everyday life

Romance is a multifaceted concept that can be interpreted in various ways. While it is often associated with love, intimacy, and passion between two people, there is another aspect of romance that goes beyond interpersonal relationships. Romance can also be understood as a feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.

This alternative perspective on romance is just as valid and intriguing. It invites us to explore the unknown, embrace thrilling experiences, and step away from the mundane. It is about creating moments or entering worlds that ignite a sense of excitement and intrigue, setting them apart from the monotony of daily life.

In literature, for example, military science fiction embodies this notion of romance. It captivates readers by presenting the romance of exploring strange new worlds, encountering new life forms, and embarking on epic adventures. This type of narrative sweeps us off our feet and transports us to realms where the extraordinary becomes possible, mirroring the excitement and mystery that romance can evoke.

In our personal lives, we may find romance in moments that break the routine and spark a sense of wonder. It could be a walk on a cloudy day by the ocean, watching waves crash against the rocks, or any number of experiences that resonate with us on a profound level. These moments allow us to escape the confines of the familiar and embrace a sense of remoteness from our everyday existence.

Ultimately, romance, in this context, is about creating or discovering moments, settings, or narratives that stir our souls, captivate our imaginations, and provide a respite from the ordinary. It is about seeking and savouring experiences that make us feel alive, excited, and intrigued, reminding us that there is always more to explore and discover beyond the confines of our daily routines.

Frequently asked questions

Aromance is when someone experiences little to no romantic attraction.

If you've never felt romantic attraction, and you don't want the things that are typically associated with romance, you might be aromantic.

Romance involves feelings of romantic attraction and behaviours that are caring or affectionate. Aromance is the absence of these feelings and behaviours.

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