Cologne has been described by some as a boring city. One person who visited the city described it as super lame, with nothing to do. They also described the city as being 20-30 years behind, neither an international city nor a vibrant town. However, others have described the city as amazing, informative, and entertaining. One person even recommended visiting the city during the Christmas markets, as this would distract you from the city itself.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
City | Boring |
City's claim to fame | "This fucking upward sprawl. Old, check. Dirty, check." |
City's crops | Grapeseed |
Downtown | "Vertical strip malls punctuated by obsolete technology like horse-cops and cobblestones." |
Streets | Deliberately narrow |
Tour | Boring |
Tour guide | Knew the history of the city but was boring |
What You'll Learn
Cologne's architecture
Cologne, or Köln as the locals call it, is considered one of the most important centres in West Germany. The city is nestled on the banks of the Rhine River and its architecture is a blend of historical landmarks and contemporary interventions.
In the old town, the medieval Cologne Cathedral, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, dominates the skyline. It is the tallest cathedral in the world, with its twin towers rising 515 feet (157 metres) above the city centre. The cityscape is also shaped by the Twelve Romanesque churches of Cologne, including Sankt Gereon, Sankt Severin, and Sankt Ursula.
Beyond its historical core, Cologne embraces modernity with structures such as the Kranhaus buildings and Renzo Piano’s Weltstadthaus. The Kolumba Museum, designed by Peter Zumthor, is another example of contemporary architecture in the city. The museum integrates the ruins of a late-Gothic church destroyed during World War II into a tranquil space dedicated to art and history.
Other notable buildings in Cologne include the Neue Direktion Köln, the Museum Ludwig, the St. Gertrud Church + Culture, the Cologne Bonn Airport, the Köln-Weidenpesch Church, the Commercial Building Hohe Strasse 52, and the Roonstrasse Synagogue.
Cologne's architectural landscape is a blend of historical and contemporary styles, with a rich cultural and historical context.
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The city's tour guides
As a tour guide, it is your job to showcase the best of Cologne and ensure visitors have a memorable experience. While some may describe the city as boring, there is plenty to uncover and share with those eager to learn about this historic place.
The Cathedral
Even those who find Cologne boring often concede that the Cathedral is magnificent. It is one of the only structures left standing after the city was levelled during the war. It is also one of the few buildings that bombers were instructed not to target. This stunning building is a testament to the city's rich history and is a must-see for any visitor.
Christmas Markets
The Christmas Markets are a great time to visit Cologne. They offer a wonderful distraction from the city itself and provide a unique and festive experience.
Brewery Tours
Cologne is known for its beer, and a brewery tour is a great way to learn about the city's brewing heritage and sample some local beers. The Legendary Kölsch Brewery Tour is a popular choice and offers an informative and fun experience.
The Old Town
Cologne's Old Town is full of charm and character, with narrow streets and cobblestones. While some may find this area outdated, it offers a glimpse into the past and is home to many traditional pubs and restaurants.
The Rhine River
A walk along the Rhine River can be a peaceful and scenic experience. The river is an important part of the city's history and offers a different perspective of Cologne. There are also boat tours available, providing a unique way to see the city.
Local Culture and Hospitality
Cologne is known for its friendly and welcoming atmosphere. The local culture is vibrant and diverse, with many great restaurants, bars, and cafes to discover. The city also has a thriving arts scene, with galleries, theatres, and museums to explore.
As a tour guide, it is essential to engage with visitors and share your knowledge and passion for the city. By offering interesting stories, insights, and recommendations, you can ensure that your guests have a memorable and enjoyable experience in Cologne.
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The city's reputation
Cologne has a reputation for being boring. One visitor to the city wrote that it was "super lame" and that even the crops are "uncool". They describe downtown as "vertical strip malls punctuated by obsolete technology like horse-cops and cobblestones" and the streets as "deliberately narrow so you don't have to see it all at the same time". Another comment mentions that the city is "20-30 years behind" and "neither an international city nor a vibrant town".
However, others have a more positive view of the city. One person describes the tour guide, Matthias, as "funny and engaging" and the tour as "superb". Another review describes the tour guide, Moritz, as "amazing" and says that they "learnt so much about the history of the city". A third review mentions that the tour guide, Aida, had "so many great stories" and was "really friendly".
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Cologne's nightlife
Cologne, Germany's largest city, is known for its vibrant nightlife, offering everything from freshly brewed beer to cocktails crafted by the best bartenders in town. Here is a list of places to visit to experience Cologne's nightlife:
Brauerei Zur Malzmühle
A 150-year-old brewery that is a popular spot for casual dining and local German beer. It has a special beer hall that serves aromatic German cuisine and has been serving people from all around the world since 1858. It is counted among the best beer halls in the city.
Seiberts
Seiberts is listed among the top 10 most influential bars in Europe. It is the perfect spot for those who want to enjoy classic cocktails in a chic setting. It serves traditional drinks with a modern twist, along with delectable food.
Spirits
Spirits is the place to go for cocktails in Cologne. This modern and trendy bar serves finger-licking food and is a local favourite.
Sonic Ballroom
Sonic Ballroom is a mix of graffiti, rock music, and cool cocktails. The walls are covered with graffiti, and the club is filled with loud music. If punk and rock n' roll are your thing, then this is the place to be. They also offer delicious food and a variety of beers.
Six Pack Bar
Six Pack Bar is a popular hangout spot for locals and tourists alike. It serves different kinds of beer from around the world. It's a great place to meet new people, have a conversation, and groove to the latest music.
Odonien
Odonien is an art centre, concert venue, cultural centre, and beer garden created by Odo Rumpf. This place has something for everyone, whether you're an artist, a traveller, or just looking for a memorable night out.
Bootshaus
Bootshaus is an old techno club established in 1991 that has become a hotspot for German clubbing culture. It hosts live concerts and DJs like David Guetta, Skrillex, and Deadmau5. It's the place to be if you want to experience thrilling music, drinks, and food.
Papa Joe's Jazz Lokal
Papa Joe's Jazz Bar is a highly-rated jazz bar that offers live jazz every evening in an intimate atmosphere.
Monkeys Cocktail Culture
Monkeys Cocktail Culture is a great-looking bar with an eye-catching serving bar and fantastic cocktails. It's a popular spot to chill out and soak up the vibrant atmosphere.
The Corkonian Irish Pub
The Corkonian Irish Pub is located in Alter Markt, an area teeming with pubs, bars, cafes, and restaurants. It offers a good range of drinks and a nice outdoor area.
Koelner Kickerfabrik
Koelner Kickerfabrik is a friendly spot with a unique sport offering and great prices. It's a great place to start your night out, as it's conveniently located in the south of Cologne, with many other pubs nearby.
The Copper Pot
The Copper Pot is a tucked-away bar near Heumarkt with a good selection of drinks. It's a great spot to stop for a drink or two, with friendly staff.
La Galana
La Galana is a unique cigar shop that will make you feel like you've stepped into Cuba. The owner is very kind and knowledgeable, and the shop has a cool, professional vibe.
King Georg
King Georg is a trendy bar with red lighting, located near the Hansa Ring. It used to be a night club with adult entertainment, mainly for men. Now it's a popular spot for drinks until the early morning.
Toddy Tapper
Toddy Tapper is a well-kept secret bar with amazing cocktails. They also offer customised drinks for special occasions.
Little Link
Little Link is a unique little bar with interesting cocktails and tasty food. It's a must-visit spot if you're looking for something different.
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The city's food and drink
The food and drink scene in Cologne is varied and vibrant. The city has over 1,000 restaurants, more than 100 bars, 700 pubs, and ten starred restaurants, as well as several food festivals. The culinary offerings range from vegan to hearty, home-cooked meals to gourmet dining, and from Kölsch beer to creative cocktails.
Cologne's brewery restaurant culture is a unique and sociable experience. These restaurants have been symbols of Kölsch tradition and culture for over 500 years. Guests are encouraged to chat and clink glasses with each other while enjoying a Kölsch beer, which is brewed according to the German Purity Law passed in 1516.
For breakfast, there are hip café-cum-cocktail bars in the Aachener Strasse area, such as Theater im Bauturm, which offers vegan and organic options, and Balthasar, an industrial-style space serving dishes like eggs benedict. Funkhaus, near the cathedral, has an upmarket cafeteria vibe, good wine, and tasty German cuisine, including salmon with hash browns. Bierhaus am Rhein is a great spot for lunch, serving Cologne's crisp beer, Kolsch, and currywurst, with outdoor seating by the river.
Cologne also has several Michelin-starred restaurants. maiBeck, an urban bistro with modern Cologne cuisine, sources its ingredients exclusively from local producers. Ox & Klee, located in one of Cologne's new landmarks, "Crane House 1", offers an incredibly stylish interior, a gorgeous view of the Rhine, and excellent cuisine. The restaurant's principle is "carte blanche", where guests decide the number of courses, and the rest is a surprise.
For cocktails, Suderman is one of the city's most charming bars. The bar integrates the stories of the Agnesviertel district into its cocktail menu, and its talented bartenders, Dominique Simon and Felix Engel, are always working on new methods and recipes.
Cologne also has a slow food movement, with Café Feynsinn credited as its pioneer. The restaurant uses local ingredients to create dishes such as lamb tagine with couscous.
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Frequently asked questions
Some people find Cologne boring. One person who visited the city wrote that it felt like everything was 20-30 years behind and that it was neither an international city nor a vibrant town. However, others have found the city to be enjoyable, with interesting stories and culture.
There are many tours available in Cologne, such as The Legendary Kölsch Brewery Tour and the Freewalk Cologne tour.
Reviews of tours in Cologne are mixed. While some people found the tours boring, others found them to be informative and engaging.