Aromantic And Proud: How To Identify As Aromantic

Aromanticism, often abbreviated to aro, is a romantic orientation that describes people who experience little to no romantic attraction and are not interested in romantic relationships. Aromanticism is part of the LGBTQIA+ community and is represented by the letter A in the acronym, alongside asexuality and agender. While the two are distinct, there is some overlap, with around 25% of aromantic people also identifying as asexual. Aromanticism exists on a spectrum, and individuals may experience some degree of romantic attraction depending on the situation. It's important to note that aromantic people can still experience love and form deep, meaningful connections with others, even if they don't feel romantic attraction.

You don't experience romantic attraction or crushes

If you don't experience romantic attraction or crushes, you may identify as aromantic. Aromanticism is when a person experiences little to no romantic attraction to persons of any gender. People who identify as aromantic also lack interest in having romantic relationships. However, it is important to note that aromanticism represents a spectrum, and while many people who identify as aromantic never experience romantic attraction, some may still experience some degree of romantic attraction depending on the individual and the situation.

Romantic attraction refers to a desire to have emotional contact and interaction with a partner. However, the definition of a romantic relationship can vary depending on the individual. Aromanticism is the opposite of alloromanticism, which is a desire to experience a romantic relationship.

Some signs that you might be aromantic include:

• You don't experience feelings of romantic attraction or crushes.
• You feel that you do not need a romantic relationship to feel complete or fulfilled.
• You have difficulty relating to romantic stories.

It is important to remember that everyone's experience is unique, and feelings about romance and relationships can vary greatly among aromantic people. Some may have different desires and expectations for physical and emotional intimacy. There is no standardized definition of what constitutes romance, so one person's definition may differ from someone else's.

You don't need a romantic relationship to feel complete

Aromantic people do not experience romantic attraction and lack interest in having romantic relationships. They may still experience love and desire sex, and they can still have deep, meaningful, and lasting connections with others.

Self-Sufficiency

Being self-sufficient means you are emotionally independent and not reliant on others for your happiness. This means you are resilient and prepared to take on life's challenges alone. Self-sufficiency is a strength that can help you avoid entering relationships out of necessity or fear of being alone. It also means you are more likely to choose a relationship because it adds something positive to your life, rather than because you feel incomplete without it.

Strong Sense of Identity

When you are comfortable being single, you often have a well-developed sense of who you are. Your identity is not dependent on your relationship status, and you are less likely to lose yourself in a relationship. This sense of self-awareness and confidence can help you navigate life's ups and downs with resilience and adaptability.

Rich and Diversified Relationships

Non-romantic relationships, such as those with friends, family, and co-workers, can be just as fulfilling and meaningful as romantic relationships. Aromantic people tend to have diverse and satisfying relationships outside of romantic love. They may have a buzzing social life and find happiness and companionship through alternative means.

Adventure and Open-Mindedness

Being aromantic can give you the freedom to pursue fresh and exciting experiences without having to compromise or worry about someone else. You can fully immerse yourself in new adventures and embrace a spirit of openness and curiosity. This can lead to personal growth and a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.

Mindfulness and Presence

Being comfortable in your own company is a valuable skill in a world that often pressures people to conform to social norms. Mindfulness can help you appreciate the present moment and find joy in the simple things. It can give you a sense of empowerment and help you make meaningful choices in your life.

Financial Independence

Romantic relationships can be expensive, from dating to shared finances and family planning. Financial independence gives you the freedom to make choices without having to rely on or consult anyone else. It can be empowering to have full control over your finances and how you choose to spend your money.

You don't experience being in love

If you don't experience being in love, you may identify as aromantic. Aromantic individuals experience little to no romantic attraction to others and have a limited desire to engage in romantic acts or displays of affection.

Being aromantic does not mean that a person is incapable of experiencing love or emotional connections. Aromantic people can still feel platonic love for friends and family and may seek out relationships for reasons other than romantic love, such as a desire for companionship or to raise a family.

• You feel platonic love for others but not romantic love. While staying connected with others may be important, these connections primarily consist of friendships and familial bonds.
• You feel sexual attraction to others but not romantic attraction. Unless the aromantic individual is asexual, they can still desire sexual connections.
• Being sexually attracted to someone does not spark romantic feelings. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are not linked for aromantic people.
• You are content with not being in a romantic relationship. Aromantic individuals do not feel a yearning for romantic partnerships and believe they can feel fulfilled without them.
• You don't know what it feels like to have a crush or be in love. Aromantic individuals cannot relate to others' descriptions of romantic feelings and experiences.
• You seek out dates or relationships for reasons other than romantic love. Aromantic individuals may pursue relationships due to a desire for family, children, or emotional support, rather than romantic love.

It's important to note that aromanticism is a spectrum, and different people may have varying experiences and levels of desire for romantic connections. Some aromantic individuals may still prioritize their independence, while others may seek a life partner or a traditional family structure.

You have trouble relating to romantic stories

If you have trouble relating to romantic stories, you might be aromantic. Aromantic people typically do not experience romantic attraction and are not interested in romantic relationships. However, it's important to note that there isn't just one way to be aromantic. The aromantic spectrum includes a wide range of preferences and experiences.

Some signs that you might be aromantic include:

• You don't experience feelings of romantic attraction or "crushes" on other people.
• You feel complete and fulfilled without a romantic relationship.
• You don't relate to romantic stories or media.
• You don't understand the concept of "love at first sight."

It's important to remember that everyone's experience is unique, and feelings about romance and relationships can vary greatly among aromantic individuals. Some aromantic people may still desire physical and emotional intimacy, but their motivations are often beyond romance, such as a desire for family, affection, or emotional support.

If you relate to these signs and identify as aromantic, know that you are valid and loved. You can explore resources and support groups specifically for aromantic individuals to help you navigate your feelings and experiences.

You experience some degree of romantic attraction depending on the situation

Aromanticism is a romantic orientation characterised by experiencing little to no romantic attraction. However, aromanticism is a spectrum, and some people who identify as aromantic may still experience some degree of romantic attraction depending on the individual and the situation. Aromantic people can still form deep, meaningful, and lasting connections with others. They may also desire sex and pursue relationships, including queer-platonic partnerships or QPPs, which are platonic in nature but have the same degree of commitment as a romantic partnership.

If you experience some degree of romantic attraction depending on the situation, you may identify as greyromantic, grey-aromantic, or grey-sexual. These terms refer to individuals who fall somewhere in the middle of aromantic and romantic, or asexual and sexual. They may experience some romantic or sexual feelings but only under certain conditions or in specific circumstances.

Another identity on the aromantic spectrum is demiromantic or demisexual. Demiromantic individuals only experience romantic attraction after developing a substantial emotional connection with another person. They may also be referred to as greyromantic, as they fall between being aromantic and alloromantic (experiencing romantic attraction).

Aromantics may also identify as cupioromantic, which means they don't experience romantic attraction but desire a romantic partnership. They may pursue queer-platonic relationships or other forms of partnership that meet their needs for intimacy, commitment, and emotional support.

It's important to remember that romantic attraction is subjective, and some aromantic people may find it difficult to determine whether they experience romantic attraction. Labels are meant to help you understand and communicate your experience, but you alone get to decide how you feel and how to share those feelings with others.

Frequently asked questions