Stop Overpowering Scents: Tips For Coworker Cologne Conundrums

It can be challenging to address a coworker's excessive cologne use, but it's important to create a comfortable work environment for everyone. Before taking any action, it's crucial to understand that some people have perfume allergies or sensitivities, and strong scents can trigger migraines or allergic reactions. When dealing with this situation, it's best to start by having an open and respectful conversation with the coworker, expressing your concerns about the impact of their cologne on your well-being. It's important to frame the discussion around your reaction to the cologne rather than their usage. You can also suggest alternative solutions that impose on you rather than them, such as meeting in a different area or adjusting your seating arrangement. If the issue persists or you're uncomfortable speaking directly, you can involve your supervisor or HR department, especially if it's affecting your productivity and health. Remember to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, as some people may not be aware of the impact of their cologne or may feel defensive about their personal choices.

Explain the impact on your health

The impact of fragrances on health has been a topic of research for several years. Fragrances are not just found in perfumes and colognes but also in air fresheners, soaps, shampoos, deodorants, laundry detergents, dryer sheets, bug sprays, and e-cigarettes. While the research is still ongoing, there are some known adverse effects of fragrances on health.

Fragrances can contain volatile organic compounds (VOCs) that can irritate and disrupt airways, causing coughing, wheezing, throat irritation, and congestion. They can also trigger allergic reactions or inflammatory responses, such as itchy or watery eyes, a runny nose, and throat irritation. For people with asthma or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), fragrances can cause shortness of breath and worsen underlying symptoms.

The chemicals in fragrances, such as phthalates, parabens, and triclosan, can have more severe long-term health effects. These chemicals are known to be toxic and can cause damage to the sinuses, nervous system damage, skin allergies, endocrine disruption, and even certain types of cancers. Prolonged exposure to fragrances has been linked to an increased risk of breast cancer, especially in women. Fragrances can also cause changes in cardiac function, affecting the heart's ability to pump blood effectively.

Additionally, fragrances can impact the endocrine system, which regulates hormones, and can lead to increased glucose levels similar to those seen in people with type 2 diabetes. There is also early research suggesting a possible link between fragrance exposure and the exacerbation of dementia.

It is important to note that not everyone will experience all of these health effects, and individual factors such as age, gender, and income level can influence the impact of fragrances on an individual's health. However, continuous exposure to fragrances, especially in enclosed environments, can be harmful, and it is essential to take precautions to reduce exposure.

Ask politely and respectfully

If you want to ask a coworker to stop using too much cologne, it's important to approach the situation politely and respectfully. Here are some steps you can follow:

• Calm yourself and lower the stakes: Before initiating the conversation, take a moment to calm yourself and lower the emotional stakes. Remind yourself that your intention is not to criticise but to address a problem respectfully. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with your coworker and affirm your desire for more friendship, not less.
• Take ownership of your problem: Instead of making it about how much cologne they wear, frame the issue around your reaction to the cologne. Explain that you've noticed yourself avoiding contact with them because you react physically to their cologne. Be honest about your reluctance to bring it up due to not wanting to hurt their feelings.
• Offer solutions that impose on you, not them: Avoid asking them to stop wearing the cologne or reduce the amount they use. Let them offer a solution if they choose to. Reassure them that you're not asking them to change their behaviour and instead propose adjustments that you can make, such as meeting in a different area or sitting farther away from them.
• Reiterate your positive intent: Make it clear that you initiated the conversation to explain your behaviour and strengthen your relationship, not to create distance. Let them know that you value your relationship and didn't want to risk it by leaving your behaviour unexplained.
• Give them time to process: Understand that your coworker might need time to adjust and process the information. They may feel a bit shell-shocked, and that's okay. Give them the space to work through their feelings without taking on any paranoia or looking for signs of resentment.
• Increase contact in the near term: After the conversation, make an effort to have more contact with your coworker rather than less. This will help prove your sincerity and may even lead to a closer relationship.

Remember, the key is to approach the situation with empathy and respect. Focus on sharing your experience and finding a solution that works for both of you, rather than demanding that they change their behaviour.

Suggest a solution that only impacts you

If you want to suggest a solution that only impacts you, there are a few options you could consider:

• Talk to your coworker directly: You could explain to your coworker that you have a sensitivity to strong scents and kindly request that they reduce the amount of cologne they wear. It's best to approach this conversation calmly and respectfully, focusing on your positive relationship with them rather than their perfume usage. This can help your coworker feel safer and less defensive during the conversation.
• Take ownership of your problem: Instead of asking your coworker to change their behaviour, you could frame the issue as your own problem that you're trying to solve. For example, you could say something like, "I've noticed that I react physically to your cologne, so I'm going to start sitting a little further away from you. I didn't want our relationship to be affected by my behaviour without an explanation."
• Offer solutions that only impact you: You could suggest meeting in a different area or sitting further away from your coworker, rather than asking them to change their cologne usage. This approach can help your coworker feel less defensive and more open to finding a solution that works for both of you.
• Reassure your coworker of your positive intent: After your conversation, give your coworker some time and space to process the information. Prove your sincerity by initiating more contact with them in the near term, rather than avoiding them. This can help strengthen your relationship and show that you value their friendship.
• Try an anonymous approach: If you don't feel comfortable speaking directly to your coworker, you could try leaving an anonymous note on their desk or sending an anonymous message. This approach may be less effective than a direct conversation, but it can help you express your concerns without causing potential discomfort.
• Make changes to your own routine: If you usually wear perfume or scented products, you could try reducing or eliminating your own scent usage. This can help avoid any potential judgement or comparison and show that you're willing to make changes as well.
• Focus on self-care: If possible, try to manage your exposure to the strong cologne by taking breaks or sitting further away from your coworker. You could also try using air purifiers, coffee beans, or other scent-mitigating solutions at your desk to create a more comfortable environment for yourself.

Reiterate your positive intentions

When approaching a colleague about their excessive cologne use, it's important to reiterate your positive intentions to ensure they don't feel personally attacked or embarrassed. Here are some tips to help you effectively convey your intentions:

• Focus on your relationship: Emphasize that you value your relationship with your coworker and want to strengthen it. By expressing your admiration for them and your enjoyment of their company, you can create a safe and positive environment for the conversation. This will help them understand that your concern is not about them as a person but about a specific behaviour that affects you.
• Own your problem: Instead of blaming your coworker for wearing too much cologne, take ownership of your reaction to it. Explain that you have noticed yourself avoiding contact with them because you physically react to their cologne. Be honest about your feelings and acknowledge that you are addressing this issue because you value your relationship. For example, you could say, "I've realised I've been trying to keep my distance, not because I don't like you, but because being too close triggers these reactions for me."
• Offer solutions that accommodate you, not them: Avoid asking your coworker to stop wearing cologne or reduce the amount they use. Instead, offer solutions that involve changes on your end. For instance, suggest having meetings in a larger space or sitting a little further away from them. This approach reinforces that you are taking responsibility for managing your reaction and are not expecting them to change their behaviour.
• Reassure them of your positive intent: After sharing your concerns, reiterate your intentions to preserve and strengthen your relationship. You could say something like, "I wanted to have this conversation so that you understand my behaviour. I don't want you to think I'm avoiding you; on the contrary, I value our connection and want to be transparent about why I've been keeping my distance."
• Give them time to process: Understand that your coworker might need time to adjust and process the information. They may feel shell-shocked or defensive initially. Give them the space to work through their emotions without taking on their potential resentment or distancing yourself from them. Prove your sincerity by initiating contact and showing that you still enjoy their company.
• Be direct but considerate: While it's important to be sensitive and respectful, don't avoid the issue or sugarcoat your concerns. Be direct about the impact of their cologne on your health and wellbeing, but do so in a kind and considerate manner. You could say, "I wanted to mention that I experience [insert symptoms] when exposed to strong fragrances. I'm sensitive to scents, and your cologne affects me even after you've left the room."

Remember, the goal is to address the issue while preserving your relationship and creating a comfortable work environment for everyone.

Involve HR or your boss

If you've tried talking to your coworker about their excessive cologne use and it hasn't worked, it might be time to involve HR or your boss. Here are some tips on how to do that:

• Frame the issue as a medical problem and a workplace productivity issue. Explain that you are frequently getting migraines due to your coworker's cologne, which affects your ability to work effectively.
• Request accommodation: Ask HR or your boss to implement fragrance-free policies or guidelines, or at least encourage employees to be mindful of their use of scented products.
• Provide medical evidence: If necessary, ask your doctor for a letter stating that you have a fragrance sensitivity and request accommodation from HR or your boss.
• Suggest alternatives: Instead of asking your coworker to stop wearing cologne altogether, suggest alternatives such as using less or opting for milder fragrances.
• Emphasize the impact on your relationship: Explain that you value your relationship with your coworker and want to find a solution that works for both of you.
• Offer solutions that impose on you, not your coworker: For example, suggest having meetings in a larger space or sitting farther apart to reduce the impact of their cologne on you.
• Be respectful and tactful: When discussing the issue with HR or your boss, be mindful of your tone and approach. Avoid being confrontational or disrespectful.
• Follow up: If the issue persists, follow up with HR or your boss and explore further options, such as flexible schedules or air purification systems.

Frequently asked questions