A Kind Request: No Fragrance, Please

Knowing how to ask someone politely not to wear cologne can be tricky, especially if the person is an acquaintance or a colleague. While it may be easier to make such a request of a friend, it can be more challenging when the person is from a different cultural background or when you want to avoid potential conflict. In such cases, it may be best to approach a mutual acquaintance, supervisor, or authority figure to convey the message on your behalf. Alternatively, you can suggest solutions that don't directly involve the person, such as improving ventilation or moving to a different location. If all else fails, you may need to remove yourself from the situation to protect your health and well-being.

Explain your health issues

If you need to ask someone not to wear cologne, it's likely because you have health issues that are affected by fragrances. Here are some ways to explain your health issues:

Asthma and Respiratory Problems:

• Explain that you have severe asthma and that fragrances can trigger asthma attacks. You could say, "I have severe asthma, and fragrances like cologne are a common trigger for asthma attacks. I'm sure you understand how serious and scary an asthma attack can be, so I'm asking that you please refrain from wearing cologne when we spend time together."
• If you have other respiratory issues, such as allergies or breathing problems, you can explain how fragrances affect your breathing. For example, "Fragrances like cologne often trigger my allergies and make it difficult for me to breathe. I would really appreciate it if you could avoid wearing cologne when we're together."

Migraines and Headaches:

Fragrances can be a common trigger for migraines and headaches. You could explain, "I'm very sensitive to fragrances, and cologne is one of my migraine triggers. The scent can be overwhelming and lead to intense headaches. I'd be so grateful if you could avoid wearing cologne when we're in close proximity."

Skin Allergies and Dermatitis:

Fragrances are known to cause skin allergies and allergic contact dermatitis in some people. You could say, "I have sensitive skin, and fragrances like cologne often trigger allergic reactions and dermatitis. It would be a huge help if you could refrain from wearing cologne when we meet, so I can avoid an uncomfortable skin reaction."

Other Health Concerns:

Fragrances have been linked to various health issues, including endocrine disruption, reproductive problems, and even cancer. If you have concerns about these or other health issues, you could say, "I have health concerns related to the chemicals found in fragrances. Studies have shown links between fragrances and serious health issues, so I'm taking precautions by minimizing my exposure to fragrances like cologne."

Remember, it's important to be direct and honest about your health issues. Explain the impact that fragrances have on your health, and kindly request that the person refrain from wearing cologne when they are around you.

Suggest alternative ways to smell nice

It is completely appropriate to ask guests not to wear perfume or cologne, especially if it is for health reasons. If you want to avoid asking your guests directly, you can include a polite message on your wedding website or with the invitations. For example, "The bride and groom respectfully ask you to refrain from wearing perfumes or colognes in respect of others' health".

Use scented products

Opt for scented skincare products, such as body washes, oils, moisturisers, and deodorants. These products will give your skin a subtle, natural scent that is not overpowering. Look for natural ingredients and avoid products with harmful chemicals. You can also use essential oils, such as lavender, geranium, and cedarwood, diluted with carrier oils such as almond, sesame, or jojoba.

Opt for floral or botanical waters

Consider using floral waters or hydrosols, such as rose water or cucumber mist, which are refreshing and provide a subtle fragrance. These can be used on the body and hair to add a fresh scent between showers.

Maintain good oral hygiene

Make sure to brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day and carry a pack of gum or a travel-size bottle of mouthwash for fresh breath on the go.

Use powder

Apply premium powder to areas prone to moisture, such as the underarms, to absorb sweat, eliminate odour, and keep you feeling fresh throughout the day. Choose a product that is free from talc, aluminium, parabens, and menthol.

Practice good hair and beard care

Your hair and beard can trap unpleasant odours, so it's important to maintain a healthy hair care routine. Use a high-quality shampoo and conditioner to keep your hair clean, healthy, and smelling great. If you have a beard, use a beard balm or oil to keep it soft, healthy, and odour-free.

Maintain a healthy diet and hydration

The foods you eat can impact your body odour. Reduce your intake of red meat, dairy, spicy foods, and garlic, which can contribute to unpleasant body odour. Instead, increase your consumption of chlorophyll-rich greens, which can improve your natural body scent. Stay hydrated by drinking enough water, which helps to dilute unpleasant scents.

Maintain a healthy shower routine

Consider showering at night to wash away the day's sweat and grime. This will also help keep your sheets cleaner and smelling fresh. You can add a touch of natural scent to your bedding by spraying floral waters or using essential oils in the dryer when washing your sheets.

Ask a third party to intervene

If you are unable or uncomfortable with the idea of directly asking someone to stop wearing cologne, you can consider asking a third party to intervene on your behalf. This approach can be helpful if you don't know the person well or if you want to avoid potential embarrassment or conflict. Here are some suggestions on how to go about it:

Talk to a Mutual Superior or Authority Figure:

• If the person wearing the cologne is a colleague or someone you work with, consider speaking to your supervisor or HR department. They can address the issue in a more official capacity and emphasise the impact on productivity and the work environment. It's important to note that this approach should be used as a last resort, as attempting to resolve the issue directly first is generally advised.
• In a choir or volunteer setting, speak to the choir director or a similar authority figure. They can then address the issue with the individual in question, framing it as a request for the benefit of the entire group.

Involve a Mutual Friend or Colleague:

• If you have mutual friends or colleagues, you can ask them to intervene on your behalf. They can approach the person in a casual and friendly manner, expressing that while they enjoy the scent, they feel it may be a bit strong for some.
• This approach can be especially useful if the person is receptive to feedback from their peers and may be more understanding of the request coming from someone they know well.

Make it an Official Request:

• If the person is a guest at an event you are hosting, such as a wedding, you can include a polite request on the invitation or wedding website. Something along the lines of, "The bride and groom respectfully ask that you refrain from wearing strong perfumes or colognes out of respect for the health of other guests."
• This approach allows you to address the issue without directly confronting anyone, and it ensures that all guests are aware of the request.

Remember, when asking a third party to intervene, it's important to provide context and explain the impact the cologne is having on you. It's also a good idea to suggest a potential solution, such as reducing the amount worn or opting for an unscented alternative. By providing a clear and respectful request, you can increase the chances of a positive outcome.

Be direct but polite

Being direct but polite is a great way to ask someone not to wear cologne. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you approach the conversation with confidence and respect:

• Choose an Appropriate Time and Place: Look for a quiet moment when you can speak privately with the person. Avoid bringing up the topic in front of others to respect their privacy and avoid any potential embarrassment.
• Begin with a Compliment: Start the conversation on a positive note by complimenting the person. For example, you could say, "I really appreciate your hard work on the project," or "I enjoy working with you on the team." This sets a friendly tone and shows that you value your relationship.
• Explain Your Reasoning: Clearly and honestly explain why you are making this request. For example, you could say, "I'm asking because I have allergies and strong scents affect my breathing," or "I'm sensitive to fragrances, and cologne triggers my migraines." Providing a valid reason can help the person understand the importance of your request.
• Make a Direct but Respectful Request: Use assertive language to convey your message directly. For example, you could say, "I would appreciate it if you could refrain from wearing cologne when we work together," or "I'm kindly asking that you avoid wearing cologne when we spend time together." Be firm but polite in your delivery.
• Offer Alternative Solutions: If possible, suggest alternative options that can help accommodate both your needs. For example, you could say, "I know we all want to smell nice, so perhaps we can explore using milder fragrances or unscented products." By providing alternatives, you show that you are willing to work together to find a solution.
• Thank Them for Their Understanding: Express gratitude for their willingness to consider your request. For example, you could say, "Thank you for understanding my situation and being accommodating." Acknowledging their cooperation can help foster a positive and supportive environment.

Remember, it's important to approach the conversation with empathy and respect. Be mindful of the other person's feelings, especially if they view wearing cologne as an important part of their self-expression or daily routine. By being direct but polite, you can effectively communicate your request while maintaining a positive relationship.

Avoid the person

If you want to avoid someone who wears too much cologne, there are several strategies you can employ. Here are some detailed suggestions to help you navigate this situation effectively:

• Maintain your distance: If possible, try to keep a respectful distance from the person. This may involve changing your seat or position to ensure you are not in close proximity to them. This simple action can help reduce your exposure to the strong scent.
• Avoid shared spaces: Be mindful of shared spaces such as break rooms, common areas, or restrooms, as the person in question may frequent these areas and leave behind a strong scent. Try to use these spaces when they are less likely to be there, or opt for alternative locations if possible.
• Adjust your routine: Take note of the person's schedule and try to adjust your own routine to minimise encounters. For example, if they tend to arrive at the office earlier, consider coming in a bit later to avoid crossing paths. Alternatively, if they usually take lunch breaks at a specific time, plan your breaks at a different time to minimise your exposure.
• Work remotely or from a different location: If your work or environment allows for remote work or working from a different location, this could be an effective way to avoid the person. Discuss this option with your supervisor or employer to see if it is a feasible arrangement.
• Communicate your concerns: While direct communication with the person may not be your preferred option, expressing your concerns to a mutual acquaintance or someone in a position of authority may help address the issue. Explain the impact of the strong cologne on your well-being and request that they approach the person on your behalf.
• Seek alternative solutions: If avoiding the person is not a viable option, consider other ways to minimise the impact of their cologne. This could include using air purifiers or scented candles to neutralise strong scents, or even wearing a mask with a scent-blocking filter when in close proximity to the person.

Remember, it is important to handle this situation with sensitivity and respect. While avoiding the person may be a temporary solution, it is always best to address the issue directly or through an appropriate intermediary whenever possible.

Frequently asked questions