Lance Carson
Asking a coworker not to wear perfume can be a tricky conversation to navigate. It's important to remember that everyone should feel comfortable in the workplace, and sometimes strong scents can cause allergic reactions, headaches, nausea, and even breathing problems for some people. When addressing this issue, it's best to focus on your reaction to the perfume rather than how much they are wearing. Be honest and direct, but also polite and respectful. You could say something like, I'm sensitive to scents, and I think I'm reacting to your perfume. I'd appreciate it if you could avoid wearing it at work. If you don't feel comfortable speaking directly to your coworker, you can also bring it up with your manager or HR, who can then address the issue more generally without singling anyone out. Remember, it's okay to ask your coworker to tone down their perfume, as long as it's done in a considerate way.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Tone | Polite, respectful, direct |
| Setting | Private, one-on-one |
| Language | Focus on your reaction, not their actions; be honest, but avoid being accusatory |
| Examples | "I'm sorry to ask you this, but I'm sensitive to scents, and I think I'm reacting to something you're wearing. I'd appreciate it if you could avoid using that perfume at work."; "I realize I have been a coward because I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but then I notice I'm trying to be around you less. I like that solution even less than taking this risk." |
| Alternative Options | Speak to a supervisor or HR; suggest a general message to all coworkers to avoid strong perfumes |
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What You'll Learn
Be polite and direct
It can be tricky to ask a coworker not to wear perfume, as you don't want to embarrass them or cause an employee relations issue. However, it's important to feel comfortable in your workplace, and sometimes that means having difficult conversations.
If you're sensitive to scents or have allergies, it's perfectly valid to ask a coworker to refrain from wearing perfume or strong scents. When doing so, it's best to be polite and direct while also acknowledging that you're making a personal request. For example, you could say:
> "I'm sorry to ask you this, but I have a sensitivity to scents, and your perfume is affecting me. I'd really appreciate it if you could avoid wearing it when we're working together."
Alternatively, you could frame the request as a hypothetical:
> I have a terrible sense of smell, and sometimes I accidentally spray on too much perfume. Could you let me know if I'm ever wearing too much? In return, if you ever feel like my perfume is too strong, please let me know, and I'll be happy to tone it down."
If you're a manager, you can set an example by not wearing scented products or using air fresheners in the office. You can also encourage employees to talk about their scent sensitivities and give them guidance on how to politely ask their teammates to reduce their use of scented products.
If a direct conversation with your coworker isn't possible or doesn't work, you can speak to your manager or HR department. They can then mediate the situation or implement a general workplace policy about scent usage.
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Focus on your reaction, not their perfume use
When asking a coworker not to wear perfume, it is important to approach the situation delicately to avoid causing embarrassment or creating an uncomfortable environment. Here are some suggestions for focusing on your reaction to their perfume use rather than directly commenting on their choice of fragrance:
Emphasize Your Sensitivity
Start by acknowledging that your request is based on your personal sensitivity to scents. You can say something like, "I'm sorry to ask you this, but I'm sensitive to strong scents, and I think I'm reacting to your perfume." This approach helps to convey that your concern is not with their choice of perfume but with your physical response to it.
Share Your Symptoms
Explain the specific symptoms you experience when exposed to the perfume. For example, "I've noticed that I start sneezing, or I get a headache, when I'm around certain perfumes." By sharing your physical reactions, you provide a valid reason for your request that is difficult to argue against.
Suggest Alternative Work Arrangements
Instead of asking them to stop wearing the perfume altogether, suggest alternative work arrangements that can help mitigate your exposure. For example, "I was wondering if we could try having our meetings in the larger conference room instead of my office. It might help reduce the concentration of the scent." This shows that you are willing to adapt and find solutions that work for both of you.
Offer a Private Conversation
If you are uncomfortable discussing your sensitivity with your coworker directly, you could suggest having a private conversation away from other colleagues. This can help to reduce any potential embarrassment they may feel. For example, "I wanted to speak with you privately and ask if you could help me with something. I'm wondering if we could find a solution together that doesn't involve anyone else."
Provide Assurance of Their Intent
When having the conversation, acknowledge that their choice of perfume is not a malicious act and that they are likely unaware of its impact on you. You could say, "I know you didn't intend for this to happen, and I'm sure you're not aware of my sensitivity. I wanted to bring it up so that we can work together to find a solution."
Remember, the key is to focus on your reaction and experience rather than their perfume choice. By doing so, you can maintain a respectful and empathetic tone while still conveying the importance of the issue.
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Avoid embarrassment
To avoid embarrassment when asking a coworker not to wear perfume, there are several approaches you can take.
Firstly, it is important to recognise that everyone should feel comfortable in the workplace, and that certain scents can cause allergic reactions, headaches, nausea, and even breathing problems for some people. It is also important to approach this issue in a polite and respectful manner, without causing embarrassment or offending your coworker.
One way to approach this is to frame the conversation around your own sensitivities and reactions, rather than directly criticising your coworker's perfume usage. For example, you could say something like, "I'm sorry, but I seem to be sensitive to scents, and I think I'm reacting to something you're wearing. I would really appreciate it if you could avoid using that perfume around me." By focusing on your own experience and using polite language, you can express your concerns without causing embarrassment.
Another strategy is to involve a third party or a manager to relay the message. You could speak to your manager or HR about your concerns, and they can then address the issue more generally, without singling out any individual. This way, your coworker will get the message without it coming directly from you.
Additionally, it may be helpful to suggest alternative solutions or compromises. For example, you could request that your coworker reduces the amount of perfume they wear, or you could ask to work in a different area or at a further distance from them. By offering alternatives, you can show that you are trying to find a solution that works for both of you.
It is also worth considering the timing and setting of the conversation. You may find it easier to send an email or written message, as this can give you time to carefully choose your words and avoid any potential embarrassment.
Remember, the key is to approach this issue sensitively and respectfully, keeping in mind that your coworker may be unaware of the impact their perfume is having on you. By having an open and honest conversation, you can hopefully reach a solution that works for everyone.
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Educate on the health risks
Perfumes can trigger allergic reactions in some people. These reactions can range from mild discomfort to more serious reactions. Many synthetic perfumes contain a variety of chemicals, such as phthalates, synthetic musks, and stabilizers, which can irritate the respiratory system and contribute to indoor air pollution. When worn in an office, where people are often in close proximity for long hours, these chemicals can linger in the air and exacerbate respiratory issues, especially for individuals with asthma, allergies, or other respiratory conditions.
In addition to allergic reactions, strong fragrances can cause discomfort and even health issues for some people. For example, they can lead to fragrance fatigue, resulting in headaches, irritability, and nausea. Air conditioning and poor ventilation in office spaces can worsen indoor air quality, allowing the fragrance to build up over time. This can be particularly problematic for people with pre-existing respiratory conditions, such as asthma or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), as it may trigger shortness of breath.
It is also important to note that heavily scented products, such as perfumes, lotions, soaps, shampoos, and laundry detergents, can all cause similar issues for some individuals. Therefore, it is not just about the perfume itself but also about the combination of fragrances that a person may be exposed to in a shared workspace.
By understanding and communicating these health risks, you can approach the conversation with your coworker from an informed and empathetic perspective. It is important to respect others' comfort and well-being, even as you maintain your personal style and preferences.
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Involve a manager or HR
If you've tried talking to your coworker about their perfume use and they haven't changed their behaviour, it may be time to involve a manager or HR. Here are some ways to do this:
Talk to your manager or HR representative directly:
Explain the situation and how it is affecting your work and well-being. Be specific about the impact of your coworker's perfume use, such as allergic reactions, headaches, or nausea. It is important to note that involving a manager or HR should be a last resort after attempting to resolve the issue directly with your coworker.
Request a general message:
You can ask your manager or HR to put out a general message or reminder to all employees about avoiding strong perfumes or scented products in the workplace. This approach maintains anonymity and avoids singling out any individual.
Suggest a fragrance-free policy:
Propose implementing a fragrance-free policy or designating fragrance-free zones in the workplace. This approach can be effective, especially if there are multiple employees with scent sensitivities. However, keep in mind that such policies may not be fully effective or feasible in all work environments.
Request relocation:
If possible, you can discuss the possibility of being relocated to a different area or room, away from the coworker's strong perfume scent. This option may be more feasible in offices with separate workspaces or cubicles.
Lead by example:
Encourage management to set an example by refraining from wearing scented products or perfumes in the workplace. This can help reinforce a scent-free environment and show respect for employees with scent sensitivities.
Remember, it is essential to approach this issue with sensitivity and professionalism. Involving a manager or HR should be a carefully considered step, and it is always best to try resolving the issue directly with your coworker first if possible.
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Frequently asked questions
It's important to remember that everyone wants to feel comfortable in the workplace, and that perfumes can cause sniffling, dizziness, headaches, nausea and breathing problems for some workers. You could say something like: "I'm sorry to ask you this, but I'm sensitive to scents, and I think I'm reacting to something you're wearing. I'd appreciate it if you could avoid using that perfume at work."
If your coworker doesn't listen, you could suggest speaking to a supervisor or HR. You could ask for accommodations such as an office air purifier, or to be moved to a different room.
It's important to lead by example. Avoid wearing scented products or perfume in the workplace yourself, and encourage employees to talk to each other about their scent sensitivities. You could also implement a "scent-free" policy in the workplace.
