Katrina Rosales
Strong perfumes can be overwhelming and cause discomfort to those who are sensitive to smell. While it is a tricky conversation to have, it is important to address the issue directly and find a solution that works for everyone. Whether it is a colleague, friend, or stranger, there are ways to approach the topic without causing offence.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Be kind and apologetic | "Your perfume is lovely, but it seems to be triggering my allergies. I'm sorry to ask, but would you be willing to leave it off at the office?" |
| Be direct | "I've been meaning to ask you for a favor, but I didn't know how to say it. Then I thought to myself, if the roles were reversed and my co-worker felt this way, I would definitely prefer she tell me. I was wondering if you would mind not wearing any perfume at work. It may sound surprising, but since we spend many hours a day at work, the scent of a perfume can eventually become too intense and distracting." |
| Mention physical symptoms | "I get an allergic reaction. Even my husband has to skip cologne! You're fine, but if I have to keep my distance or my nose starts running, please don't be offended!" |
| Suggest alternatives | Offer to sit closest to the window or suggest a quick stroll outside to get some fresh air. |
| Talk to HR | Present the allergy as a disability and make the request in the way someone with a peanut allergy would. |
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What You'll Learn
Be kind and apologetic, not accusatory
Telling someone that their perfume is too strong can be a delicate situation to handle. It is important to remember that the person wearing the perfume may be completely unaware of how strong it is. Being kind, respectful, and understanding in your conversation will help to avoid hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
Firstly, choose an appropriate time and place to address the issue. Avoid public places or moments that may cause embarrassment. It is best to talk to the person in private, rather than in front of others, to avoid making them feel attacked or embarrassed.
When you are speaking to them, be honest about how you feel and explain your reasoning for the issue. However, try to focus on how the perfume affects you personally, rather than implying that their choice of perfume is objectively bad. For example, you could say, "Your perfume is lovely, but it seems to be triggering my allergies. I'm sorry to ask, but would you be willing to leave it off at the office?" Or, "You always smell nice, but I've noticed that your perfume is a bit strong and it's causing me some discomfort."
You can also offer solutions, such as suggesting they decrease the amount they spray or use a milder fragrance. Emphasize the impact on your ability to concentrate or perform your job effectively, and frame your request as a collaborative effort to improve the work environment for everyone.
If the person is defensive or unaware of the impact their scent is having, you can suggest travelling in separate cars or taking a quick stroll outside to get some fresh air. If the issue is with a coworker, you can also consult your supervisor or HR department for assistance.
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Mention allergies or fragrance sensitivity
If you are allergic to someone's perfume, it is important to let them know. Perfume allergies are quite common, with a 2017 study showing that up to 30% of the US population experienced irritation from perfume. Fragrance sensitivity can cause allergy-like symptoms, known as non-allergic rhinitis, which can include headaches, nausea, and difficulty breathing.
It can be difficult to identify the exact fragrance that is causing your allergy, as manufacturers are not mandated to list all the chemicals they use. Even products labelled "unscented" or "fragrance-free" may still contain fragrance components.
If you are allergic, it is important to let your friends, family, and colleagues know about your allergy. They may not be aware that their perfume is strong or affecting others. You can also ask them to avoid wearing perfume around you, and you can suggest buying unscented or fragrance-free products.
If you are experiencing an allergy, it is a good idea to see a doctor, who can advise on treatment and help identify the cause. Symptoms of a perfume allergy can include an itchy rash, coughing, sneezing, itchy eyes, and, in more severe cases, blistering or skin peeling.
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Suggest they wear less perfume
Suggesting to someone that their perfume is too strong can be a tricky conversation to have. It is important to approach the topic with sensitivity and kindness, especially if you are asking a colleague, as perfume can be a sensitive topic.
One way to approach the conversation is to focus on the impact the strong scent is having on you personally, rather than criticising their choice of perfume. For example, you could say something like: "Your perfume is lovely, but it seems to be triggering my allergies. I'm sorry to ask, but would you be willing to leave it off when we work together?" This approach acknowledges that the issue is with your allergies, rather than their perfume, and a reasonable person will likely be willing to accommodate your request. It is also helpful to be apologetic and kind in your ask, rather than implying that they have done something wrong.
Alternatively, you could frame the request in terms of the intensity of the scent and the amount of time spent together in a shared space. For example, you could say: "I've been meaning to ask you for a favour, but I didn't know how to say it. Then I thought, if the roles were reversed, I would prefer that my co-worker tell me. I was wondering if you would mind wearing a little less perfume at work. It may sound surprising, but since we spend many hours a day at work, the scent of a perfume can eventually become too intense and distracting." This approach acknowledges the sensitivity of the request and expresses your desire to maintain a good relationship with your colleague.
If you are asking a friend or someone you are closer with, you could suggest that they try applying their perfume using different techniques to reduce the intensity. For example, they could try spraying their perfume from a distance, rather than up close, to get a larger coverage area with less concentration. They could also try spraying their perfume onto a cotton ball and then applying it to their skin, so it isn't concentrated in any one area. These techniques can help reduce the intensity of the scent without asking them to stop wearing the perfume altogether.
Remember, it is always best to approach these conversations with empathy and respect, and to be mindful of the other person's feelings.
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Ask them to wear it outside of work hours
If a colleague's perfume is too strong, you might want to ask them to refrain from wearing it during work hours. This is especially important if you are physically affected by the scent, such as experiencing allergies, migraines, nausea, or skin inflammation.
When approaching this sensitive topic, it is essential to be kind and considerate in your delivery. Begin by acknowledging that they may not be aware of the issue and that you are only bringing it up because you spend many hours together at work. You could say something like, "I've been meaning to ask you for a favor, but I didn't know how to say it. I was wondering if you would mind not wearing this particular perfume during work hours. I think because we spend so many hours a day at work, the scent can become a bit intense and distracting."
If you want to soften the request, you can compliment their perfume and express your sensitivity to strong scents. For example, "Your perfume is lovely, but it seems to be triggering my allergies. I'm sorry to ask, but would you be willing to wear it outside of work hours instead?" A reasonable person will likely be accommodating, especially if you approach the conversation with empathy and understanding.
In some cases, you may feel uncomfortable having this conversation directly with your colleague. In such instances, you could consider seeking assistance from your Human Resources department. Present your concern as a health and safety issue, backed by evidence of fragrance toxicity, and request that they send out a general reminder to the entire company about the potential impact of strong fragrances.
Remember, it is essential to address the issue promptly and directly. The longer you wait, the more challenging it may become to bring up the topic. Be mindful of your colleague's feelings, but also prioritize your health and comfort in the workplace.
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Talk to HR about fragrance toxicity
If you need to talk to HR about fragrance toxicity, it's likely that you're experiencing negative health effects from exposure to scented products in your workplace. Fragrance sensitivity, also known as chemical sensitivity or multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS), is a condition where individuals experience adverse reactions to certain chemicals found in fragrances, perfumes, and other scented products. These reactions can range from mild discomfort to severe allergic responses and can significantly affect an individual's ability to work effectively.
- Explain your situation and symptoms: Start by explaining to HR that you have developed a sensitivity to fragrances, which is triggering allergic reactions or other health issues. Describe the specific symptoms you're experiencing, such as headaches, nausea, congestion, itchy eyes, or difficulty breathing. It is important to communicate the impact on your health and your ability to perform your job effectively.
- Request accommodation: Ask HR for assistance in finding a reasonable accommodation that will allow you to continue working without compromising your health. This could include implementing fragrance-free policies, designating fragrance-free zones, allowing flexible scheduling, or encouraging the use of fragrance-free products. Remember that every employee's situation is unique, and accommodations should be tailored to meet your specific needs.
- Collaborate on potential solutions: Work collaboratively with HR and your colleagues to identify potential solutions. This may involve facilitating respectful conversations between you and your colleagues to discuss the impact of their fragrance usage on your health. A reasonable person will likely be willing to accommodate your request, especially if they understand the severity of the impact on your health.
- Educate and raise awareness: Request that HR educates all employees about fragrance sensitivity and the company's policies regarding accommodations. This can help foster a more inclusive and supportive work environment, where employees are understanding and respectful of each other's needs.
- Monitor and revisit accommodations: Once an accommodation has been agreed upon, work with HR to monitor the situation. If the initial accommodation isn't effective or your symptoms persist, be open to revisiting the conversation and trying different solutions. It may take a few attempts to find a solution that works for everyone.
Remember that accommodating fragrance sensitivity is not just about compliance with the law; it's about creating an inclusive workplace where all employees can thrive and feel valued. By approaching the conversation with HR in a calm and respectful manner, you can work together to find a solution that balances your health needs with the needs of your colleagues.
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